Edward's Ugly sins
by Tiggz11
Summary: This is Edward's tale a different side to Edward and what story uncovers and what adventures and pain he causes to the women of Forks and who he ends up with. How many people will get hurt?
1. 14th February 2013

14th February 2013

Watching her sleep I could see her delicate features and how much she had changed. I felt selfish. I had caused this just because of my needs. She didn't deserve this but despite looking delicate she seemed to suck up the pain.

She must have sensed I was watching her because she turned round stirring then finally opened her eyes and her first instinct was looking down. "Oh Edward, I am huge." She said pulling the covers off her. Her stomach swollen and her clothes stretched across her. I could see her bones poking through her arms and the patterns of her ribs going to her shirt. I tried to hide my surprise. As I answered her. "That is a drastic increase in size." I said. She just looked down at her stomach. She shifted and flinched as Connor must have kicked her again but this time there was no snapping sound I was relieved and she must have been too. "Edward I think he has been weight lifting." She smiled but I could see the worry in her face. "I think he was taking lessons off Emmett." I said. For a minute her face settled and she smiled but then I saw the horror and her stomach somehow expanding as her buttons tightened and she held on to the sofa. "Do something Edward." She clung to the sofa her eyes pleading with me. I was confused. How could she physically get bigger in front of my eyes?

Her buttons burst from her shirt as she continued to get bigger. I knew I would have to get him out of her soon. "Edward please do something." Her voice nothing more than a whisper. "Tanya I don't know what to do I haven't seen this before." I said. She frowned at me. "So you will leave me like this to burst?" I sighed there was no winning. "I am not going anywhere I just haven't seen this before." The next few moments are stayed buried in my memory and still bring a chill every time I think of it. One minute Tanya was shouting at me then she let a blood curdling scream out as her body seemed to be ripping she then burst open and I reached in to get Connor who was crying. Tanya was unconscious on the chair. Her expression panicked and I had to move fast to stitch her up. I put Connor down in a blanket I had and started working on fixing up Tanya. I had seen Carlisle do this a million times so I wasn't nervous even though my hands were sweating and when I was done I watched Tanya still unconscious. Connor now in my arms crying. "We can't lose you Tanya." I said. I rocked Connor till he fell asleep again he must has sensed the worry in the air as his mom lay on the sofa. "If not for me at least for Connor." I said taken her hand. Seconds later I heard very light breathing and looked to her face for any signs. She opened her eyes. "What happened?" she asked. She flinched in pain. "Connor happened love." She looked around for him and spotted the basket in the room bundled with Connor and smiled. "I am still hurting." She said. I nodded not really surprised. "Well you did sort of explode." I said. She looked scared but then I said. "Do you want to hold him?" She nodded and I picked Connor up and gently passed him to her. She held him against her and I watched her whole face lit up. "How could you break me when you're so little?" She said. Connor just lifted his arm to her. "I guess he is just strong." I answered for her.


	2. 21st February 2013

21st February 2013

It had been a while since we had been happy. I didn't want a divorce but we couldn't just argue as much as we were. It started one night the kids were in bed and I had a glass of wine Jasper was there and I put my arms round him. He stiffened immediately and I tried to get him to have some fun. He was so against it I felt rejected and upset. Since then i don't get cuddles in bed we sleep opposite ways and right now I was thinking about this staring out the window at the moon and on my fifth bottle of wine. I didn't hear anyone come in as I let the tears of my failed marriage fall.

The lights suddenly came on and I turned to see Edward just standing in his boxers. "Hello Edward." I said as casually as I could. He walked over to me. "Alice are you okay?" He asked. I was too ashamed to say anything so instead I showed him the rejection the first night it started and how tense it was around him. Edward was good for something I didn't have to say a word and he knew what had happened. "What do I do?" I asked looking up while my hands clenched the unopened bottle of wine. He came closer and wrenched the bottle from my hands. "First of all I think you have had enough wine and second of all I think you need a hug." I had a small idea but I couldn't could I? I mean my brother. But he was there and he offered me a hug so I took it and crawled onto his lap. "W...What are you doing?" he asked. I think he heard my inappropriate thoughts. "You said I can have a hug?" I looked up trying to look innocent I am not sure if it worked or not. "Of course." He put his cold arms round me and I felt happy for the first time in ages. "I hate seeing you like this." He said. "It isn't really your problem you can't do anything to help." I said. Slightly annoyed I mean I don't want pity. "He is a douche." He said. I nodded and looked up. "There is only so many times you can hint at something I mean am I hideous? Everything changed after the babies came." I spilled out everything to Edward and he just sat and listened. "I suppose this is inappropriate." I said trying to climb off his lap. "I was only hugging you Alice." He said. I started crying again letting it all build up and wondering why the hell I got married in the first place. I should have seen this coming but weirdly I didn't. But Edward had his hands on my shoulders. "There is nothing wrong with you Alice, Jasper cannot see it but I sure can." I looked up at him. "Excuse me?" I asked. Did I hear right? "You are beautiful." He said. I sighed. I wasn't going to ruin his marriage I saw how happy he was with Tanya and that was great and they even had a child I wouldn't come between that. "Edward why are you undressed?" I asked trying to change the subject completely and only now remembering he only had one piece of fabric on. "I am on clothes strike." He announced. Like it was so normal but he did have a hot body I mean he was my brother but not by blood so it wasn't as if it was completely wrong.

"You know you don't have to keep your clothes on." He said through the silence. I smiled. "You can take them off if you want to." I said. Who the hell cares if I am married? I stood up and he towered over me removing my clothes. "Much better." He said. I crawled back onto his lap enjoying the contact and his hands very lightly touching my back. I cheekily and very slowly pulled his boxers down his legs and off he didn't move he didn't pull away he just let me get him completely naked. His hands moved to my legs and thighs. I looked up at him. "Are you sure?" I asked. He obviously knew what I meant as he looked back at me his eyes soft. "The question is are you?" he asked. I didn't even hesitate I knew this was right well for now anyway. "I didn't realise you are sexy." I said. It was inappropriate but what the hell we were already undressed. "I didn't realise how beautiful you are." He answered. "I need this." I whispered feeling ashamed what I would do. I knew the guilt would come in soon enough and the regret and hurt. I felt his cold breath on my ear and he whispered lightly. "If this is what you need I can help you out." I closed my eyes feeling the need to pull away and stop this but I couldn't nothing was stopping me but it really had been a while and I felt desperate. "You can do anything you want to me." I said suddenly and well that is what happened. I basically fucked my brother simple as that.

"You aren't going to tell Jasper are you?" I asked when we had finished. I was just casually lying on Edward still undressed and not guilty just yet. "I won't tell anybody." He reassured me. He started again and well I just couldn't resist and spent the whole night with my brother naked and well you know.


	3. 22nd February 2013

22nd February 2013

I had almost spent the whole night spilling out everything to Alice about myself and helping her like a brother would. Alice is damn hot and who wouldn't take the chance to be with her for the night. I had to pretend to care first and that was well boring but I got her naked and she seemed happy enough. I was a whorebag naturist and that made me happy I had converted Alice into a naturist in just one night I just got to perve on her body and that suited me fine.

Alice was on my chest on the sofa she smelt of wine and both of our hair must have been messy. It was very obvious what we had done by the thick smell in the room and something had come to my attention. "I think we have an eavesdropper." I whispered to Alice. Alice bit her lip looking round and tried to cover up with a cushion. "Really?" "Seems Jasper is very interested in our current conversation." She smiled and climbed on me again. She seemed relaxed which was good. If only she could hear what I could I would happily share it with her. I didn't see him poke his head round but he seemed to know how we were laying and I only assumed he was right behind the door listening.

**_Edward what the fuck are you doing with my wife naked in the room? Why are you slagging me off I have done nothing to you. Just wait till your WIFE knows._**

"He doesn't appreciate my name calling and the current position we are in." I said. He was threatening to tell my wife but see what i care I am helping out my sister and it is his entire fault in the first place. Alice moved so her legs were either side of me. "I actually like this position." She said smiling. "It is definitely comfortable." I smirked at her. She was trying to wind Jasper up and I could hear from his thoughts it was working. I didn't want to tell Alice he was angry she seemed in a bubble happy for once in a long time.

22nd February 2013

I was still positioned on Edward with my legs either side of him. I had just seen Tanya and Edward's conversation before it had even happened it went like this.

"Put Connor to bed and then we can talk." I said to him. He did what I said and came back looking nervous and uncomfortable. "Sit down and stop looking so guilty." I laughed. He obviously knew what he had done was wrong. I didn't even need to be told it was so obvious. He was playing dumb looking confused. "I know what you did Edward, I am a little upset but why didn't you tell me you wanted to be with other people?" I said. His expressions changed quickly. His eyes widened and he was surprised. "I... Urm what?" He was stumbling over his words and I laughed watching him.

"Edward you are married to me and we have Connor go have fun if you really need to I don't care but if you start treating me like shit then I will care and if you take your ring off you get your ass kicked." I said. I wanted my own fun but he didn't have to know that. Jasper had come and told me exactly what had happened. While he was angry I was more than happy that Edward had fucked Alice. "I expected an ass kicking," He said. "Do you want an ass kicking?" I asked. He shook his head. "Then shut up." And he did just that. "Edward you did something nice to help her I know everything." I said. "I didn't know what else to do to help her."

"Well it seems your wife doesn't have a problem." I laughed as the vision ended Edward had seen it all has he had been there. Edward smirked his fingers lightly brushing my body. "What can I say she's one of a kind, just like you~ He said. He seemed as surprised as I was when I knew with Jasper as soon as I had to face him it would be hell and nowhere near anything like this. "So this is where your attitude is from it all makes sense." He grinned rubbing his hands on my back. "I like being me." He said.

22nd February 2013

I woke up and Edward wasn't there. I walked through the house got dressed and saw Jasper on the porch. Our daughter was coming into the house upset. They were talking and I came out to the porch. Jasper looked at me his dark cold eyes glared. "What happened?" I asked coming up and ignoring Jasper. "I lost it mom." She cried. I hugged her and Jasper must have tried to calm her down. She walked into the house and I glared at Jasper. "Well you got what you wanted didn't you? Grandkids and all now Amy's is gone are you going to kill Sophie or something?"he was so angry at Amy for being pregnant I guessed he done something to her wouldn't surprise me he was being horrible lately I didn't know what the problem was and this was before he knew about Edward. "Why you think like that? I don't never want kill anyone ever anymore you know that." He said. "Okay if it isn't Amy or Sophie what is your problem?" I asked. I knew something was wrong and it was pissing me off now. "I have no problem." He said.

"Then why are we arguing?" we had been arguing some time now we never really got on anymore.

"You started this." He said.

I didn't do anything you reject me all of the time and I am supposed to be happy. You suck as a husband." I yelled and walked to the kitchen. Jasper ran off and I sat down shaking with anger.

Hours later Jasper came in and took my vodka from me. "This doesn't help Alice." He said. I just stared blankly at him. "Alice talk to me." He said. He sat down in front of me. "Hello." I said sarcastically. "Alice please." He said. "What do you want me to say Jasper?" I asked. I knew what his problem was right now but that isn't what was wrong before.

"I can't live without you and I want say thank you everything what you did to me after I found you. Now have family who loves me and I don't know what I should do if I am alone." He said. I just looked up. I smiled and hugged him. He seemed uncomfortable as he tensed and I looked up and he suddenly sprang up knocking me off him. "Are you cheating on me?" He asked. "No of course not." I was busted and I couldn't deny it Edward had seen him already. I walked off upstairs pretending to be annoyed with him and he followed. "I know you thought I did but are you?" He asked following me to our room. "Why would you think that?" I asked. I knew I was busted I was playing for time any second he would say what he heard or saw and that would be it. "I just want to know truth. I know you are with Edward am I right?" I laughed trying to make it sound stupid. "Jasper you are ridiculous." I said. He shook his head determined. "I heard you talking about me Alice I know what you said. I am stupid I don't love you." He went on. "It is true you really don't love me and you don't get it." I said. "You like to be more Edward than me. Ok that's fine to me if you want divorce and go marry with him. You wanted this." I shook my head angry. I was getting annoyed at him he was being stupid and didn't understand any of this. What was wrong with a bit of attention and affection? If this had happened I would have never gone to Edward. "I don't want to divorce you Jasper." I yelled. "Then what do you want?" I shrugged. I wasn't going to argue again and go round in circles he really didn't understand what I wanted or really care by the sounds of it.

"I want to be alone for a while." He said. He walked off into the forest and left me as I followed him downstairs. The rain was coming down fast and he was already getting soaked. I could see where he was going. "Jasper come back." I yelled. I knew he could hear me but he didn't answer.

Eventually he came home about two hours later soaking wet through his clothes and his hair plastered to his face. "What do you want?" He came in holding his pone. I had sent him a few text telling him to stop being stupid. When your wife says you don't love her you just run away. How does that prove anything? "Why are you being so horrible to me?" I asked.

"Why are you cheating on me?" I sighed and rolled my eyes. I had already explained I had told him in different ways and yet he didn't understand. "Because you don't care about me." I said. "Not after this I don't." He yelled and sat down. I tuned to face him desperate to make him understand but he was so stubborn he never listened.

I saw him fiddle with his finger and he turned to me. "You will need this." He held his ring flat in his hand. "You are kidding me?" I said. Really he took his ring off. "You either be with me or Edward so choose." He said. I rolled my eyes again. "If you are going to be cold with me and uncaring then Edward." I said and he got up threw his ring and walked out.


	4. 23rd February 2013

23rd February 2013

I came into the room knowing Edward was there looking down holding both of the wedding rings. "Alice I am so sorry." Edward said as soon as he saw the rings. "He walked away last night." I said walking to the window. I had waited all night for him and he hadn't come back. "He is very stupid then." He said coming to me. I carried on staring outside. "I guess that is it then." I said. "His loss." He said. "Edward what are you doing in here so early?" I looked at the clock it was only 6 in the morning the sun hadn't even come up yet it still looked like midnight. "I had to check you was okay." He said. My voice was squeaky and I stayed fixed to the window. "I am fine." I said. Edward walked over putting his hand on my shoulder and turning me to face him. "No Alice you're not you can't lie to me." He said. "I am not lying."

"Your eyes are full of sadness." I just looked down. "Alice it is okay to be sad." He said, "I am fine." I tried to smile. "It is okay for you Edward you can go back to your wife but I have no one."

"A wife that lets me do anything so long as I wear my ring and doesn't treat her differently." We both started laughing. "You are lucky." I said. We both fell into silence and I continued staring outside. Jasper was gone all night and the next morning and I hadn't seen him. I couldn't see him in my visions it was like he was gone. Edward sat down on the sofa opposite silently.

"Alice I don't think he is coming back." Edward said behind me. I sighed hoping he had calmed down and at least talk to me. "He needs time."

"Edward he left his ring and he isn't at our other home." I continued staring outside.

"Come on you need to take your mind off him." He said walking over and sitting by me. I saw him reach out behind me where I had my wine and tablets that.. Oh shit. "Alice you have been taking these rights?" He held up my box in front of me and I stared ahead not wanting to answer. "No I haven't been with anyone for days." I continued staring outside.

"Except for me last night." He said. His words were just that words they had no meaning to me and I didn't really care. I repeated what he said back to show I listened but I didn't care.

" Alice snap out of this I didn't use anything." I closed my eyes. "Edward just don't." I said. I already knew what he was getting at I knew it was most likely true but I just didn't care. "It was one time." I said burying my face knowing I would have to face up to it.

"It only takes once." He said. I could tell he was angry in his voice and I just wanted to cry. I was so sad and now this there was no question about it whether it was true or not of course it was. "Please don't shout at me." I let the tears fall angry and upset all at once. "Please don't cry Alice." He said hugging me. I just lay my head on him crying.

Edward turned me back so I faced him putting his face to mine. "Edward what are you doing?" I smiled. "Distracting you." He said kissing me. I tried to pull back but I just didn't have the strength I was tired. "You know what happened last time Edward." I said giving in anyway and he was stronger than I was and much bigger. "But it distracted you didn't it?" I laughed forgetting anything that made me upset for a few minutes.

"Edward why do you never use anything?" I asked. We were silent for a minute and he answered. "I don't know but I am going to change that." I thought to Jasper again he would be so angry if he came back now. "Alice don't worry about Jasper." He said. "He is going to hate me even more now." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Edward if what you said was true we are still married and now this."

Edward wasn't listening and was trying to get in the mood again. "Edward how will that solve anything?" I asked. "I just want you to be happy." He said. So I gave in and yes it happened again and then the guilt finally flooded in millions. We sat silently as I looked over what I had done and ruined 70 years of marriage even though I was unhappy for the last part of it I had ruined it now instead of just talking about it and I might have something to show for it forever now.

"Edward?" He looked down at me. "Him?" was all he said.

"Do you regret what we did?" I asked seeing if he felt guilt like I did. Probably not though he was free and married at the same time. "No I don't." He answered.

"It has only just kicked in."" I said looking down.

"Alice why do you feel guilty you did nothing wrong." He had his hands on my head looking at me. But I couldn't meet his eyes.

"It isn't lasting as long as I thought it would." The guilt seemed to be passing me now for now probably return later but for now I was thankful. He hugged me and kissed my hair.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"It is nice to see you smile." He said. "I look gross without my make up." I said. He shook his head. "No you really don't."

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I like this crazy side of you not caring what you do and being naked all the time. I think it is hot."

"Well beats being boring." He answered.

"Yea h we can be married and still be together." I said not thinking really what would happen I was still in my bubble of sadness.

"I want to be like you." I said taking the rest of my clothes off and sitting on his lap. His face lit up and he grinned. "I like the natural look." He said.

"Dance with me Edward." I said standing up and twirling around. He watched me smirking the whole time and I pushed him onto the sofa and danced on him watching him grin but not really caring and that is when I saw it not very clearly and in little bits but it was obvious something had happened and Edward was right.

**I was running through a shopping mall with red eyes. Edward appeared yelling and getting angry. "It is your devil child's fault." I said. **

**I saw the bump under my dress. Tanya and Edward there in wedding clothes? **

**Something tasted bad I didn't see clearly what it was but it was horrible. It was like I was there but the bump was obvious. Every chunk of vision I saw I saw the bump clearly like it was the main focus and then the pain. I could feel it as I flinched away watching myself strain as the baby came then all went dark...**

I was still in Edward's arms knowing he saw exactly what I did. "Edward?"

"Yes Alice?" He didn't look at me but his voice sounded nervous he sounded scared. What had I done and what would Tanya do?

"Are you okay?" I asked looking up at him.

He nodded not meeting my eyes. "i saw what you did." He said. I wriggled from his arms getting ready for the shouting or for him to leave. "Do you want me to leave you?" I said.

He pulled me back against him tightening his grip. "No not at all." Though his voice wasn't convincing he still sounded scared or nervous so I wasn't completely comforted.

I felt the tears. "I'm sorry." I said trying to hold it together.

"You don't need to be Alice, please don't cry." He said.

"I know what you saw Edward I know you don't want this your voice gives it away." I said.

"I am in shock Alice and the truth is do you want this?" I hadn't thought about it actually what was going to happen. I didn't know what to say. I looked up at him. "There are ways to deal with this otherwise." I said. I knew already I wouldn't even do any of them even if Edward left.

"I know there are but I never said I didn't want this but it is your choice as well." he said.

"I don't want you to lose interest in me when I look horrible." Edward had obviously experienced all of this before and I kind of knew the reason he was doing this was because of Tanya. Tanya hadn't looked very nice the last week of being pregnant and now the same was going to happen again.

He laughed at me. "I would never lose interest in you believe me." He said. I wasn't convinced at all. I imagined he sweet talked everyone but what did he have to lose really? He had his wife and his family he could go back to and Jasper had just left me. I was feeling insecure and unhappy.

"Edward seriously what are we going to do?" I asked.

"I don't mind honestly the decision is yours it is your body." I was getting a bit frustrated but he was just sat casually naked on the bed and he was really hot.

**"**No it's not mine Edward it's my body but we did this so you're guilty too and it's hard to be serious when you're naked." I said. He laughed looking at me. "I no longer like clothes."" He said. I laughed and then looked at him seriously. "So come on." I said.

"Well, in all honesty I wouldn't mind if you kept it, but i don't want you to feel forced into anything." He said.

I was satisfied with his answer as I would never be able to kill or adopt out the baby even if it was a one night thing but he seemed truthful and I believed him.

"Edward I don't think our family will be too happy." I said. We still lived at home with everyone except Jasper who had left now soon they would notice you can't hide being pregnant the whole time and you definitely can't hide a baby. I cringed at the thought of them asking questions.

He just grinned looking carefree. "They are never pleased with me most the time nothing new there~

"Well they like me so maybe it balances it so they might not be too angry at us." I tried to justify what happened and couldn't. What reason was there for doing this really?

"You really need to listen to Esme when she says use something." I said. I knew I was to blame but he could have at least used something as well.

"For definite lesson learnt maybe I should go buy a whole shelf of them." He joked

"Maybe you should get chopped instead." I smiled. That was a satisfying thought I knew he could see what I saw and it made me feel better. "Hell no I am not getting chopped." He said.

"I would happily do it for you." I smirked.

"How?" he asked.

"I could use an axe or my teeth?" I smiled knowing I had made him cringe.

"No thank you." He said. I laughed oh I loved winding him up and it was so easy.

"Then I will go on strike because you won't be careful you have a child with Tanya and now another one on the way you can't keep it to yourself." I yelled feeling a burst of anger at him for being irresponsible.

"I will be safe from now on really." He said.

"No you can't. I bet on it." I said. I would win of course I always win on bets he knew this and he would be stupid to agree really.

"What is the forfeit of this bet?" He asked. Hmm I could do anything.

"I will kick your ass?" I smiled. I would love to just attack him right now feeling angry at him.

"You are so easy to wind up." He said I knew he was trying to get me angry and I was anyway but he wasn't helping and I saw that any minute now I would actually kick his ass. He was laughing at me so I punched him. "I could go and get the axe." I yelled. He only laughed more which annoyed me even more. "Torture I might like it." He said.

"Edward stop it I am trying to be angry at you." I said.

"Stop making me excited." He said. I let go immediately. "Eww Edward." I yelled. He laughed again making me angrier at him. So I punched him and he carried on laughing so I climbed on him to get a better view and punched him some more. He put his arm round me stopping me. "Quite a fiery temper you have there." He joked. I was pissed off at him so I bit him. "You are mean sometimes." I said. "You are feisty at times." He laughed. I punched him again feeling better hurting him because he was being mean and laughing at me. He held my wrists stopping me.

"You don't want to wear yourself out again do you?" I ignored his remark and bit him and then kneed him wanting to hurt him. He rolled me so he was on top of me and laughed. "Quite finished?" He asked. I growled at him instead not being able to do much and being distracted that he was close again. He kissed my cheek still laughing.

"You really are cute when wound up~ he said. I burst into tears feeling annoyed and frustrated with him. He let go of my hands. "Beat me as much as you want please don't cry." So I did I punched him as hard as I could right in his face and chest and he just let me but he was laughing at me.

"What's funny?" I asked still angry at him.

"You have a bit of a temper." He said smiling and mocking me.

"I have never had a temper just your devil child." I said. He rolled his eyes. "I doubt the child is a devil." He said. "I was never moody with any of mine." I said.

I fell asleep in his arms.

23rd February 2013

We were having a bath together after we spent the morning killing humans and burning things. "This is nice." I said lying on his chest. "I like having you close to me." He said. I continued lying on him and then I said. "Can I wash you?" He nodded and I washed his hair and then grinned washing his body. I took my time so I could watch him while I washed him and he was laughing at me I knew my face probably looked a picture but I continued. "Now my turn." He said delicately washing my hair and leaning my head. He seemed overly concentrated but I shook it off for now. I would question him later. Once he had finished we sat in silence in the bath watching the bubbles. "Okay Edward what's wrong?" I asked. He sighed and looked away not meeting my eyes. "I am afraid I messed up Tanya I slept with Alice and we are in the same situation as you." He said. Yes I admit I was angry a little but not much I could actually do. I did let him have freedom what did I really expect?

"Well it is true no one can resist you." I smiled. He was hot and Alice saw that just like I did can't really blame her as he is sat opposite me completely naked apart from the bubbles. He looked surprised and confused like he was expecting a beating but I am too nice for that. "It is cute that Connor will have a play mate but come on Edward we don't want any more that's enough now keep it in your pants." I said. He nodded.

"It can't be in my pants when I don't wear any." He smirked. I was trying not to laugh.

"Okay we will put it in a net." I said.

"So I am banned?" He asked.

"Not with me." I said. Knowing he knew what I meant.

23rd February 2013

"Morning Edward." I was awake and he was watching TV on the sofa barely audible.

"I betrayed you Edward." I said standing up in my clothes.

"Traitor." He laughed. I joined him on the sofa.

"You aren't really angry?" I asked. He smiled. " Of course not but these shorts are irritating." He said. He was sat just in his shorts topless looking hot as always.

"You could take them off?" I laughed. He smirked. "I think I will be okay." He said. He knew he was trying to annoy me but I wasn't annoyed at all. It was actually funny.

"Fine." I said. He laughed and copied my words. "Fine."

"Snug ass." I said crossing my arms.

"Nope I am Edward." I could feel anger again. "Do you want a punch?" I asked not really asking.

"Would it make you feel better?" He asked smirking.

He stood in front of me so I could punch him until I felt weak and dizzy and then I was on the floor.

Edward had me in his arms looking down at me worried. "Wow this is embarrassing." I said. He just smiled. "Don't be embarrassed." He said.

My throat felt tight and dry. I coughed and he was watching. I knew he saw in my head what I was thinking. "I think you need to hunt." He said.

"I need humans." I said. He stared at me bringing his face closer. "Alice what do you notice?" He asked. I looked at him and his face was the same, his nose and mouths his marks on his face. But his eyes weren't the usual warm kind golden they were bright and evil red that glared. "When?" I whispered. "A while back with Tanya we went on a rampage together and well we couldn't resist." He said.

"Your devil child wants humans." I said, He laughed.

"We better sort the devil child's thirst out then." H walked to the door and I followed.

So I ran off and had a little fun eating the human and that was assholes and came back with blood in my hair and my clothes were stained. I hadn't done this before so I was new to humans but it was like letting go of the barrier stopping me. I was free no more resisting and it felt good.

"Someone had fun?" He laughed when we met back up again. We walked home and I felt sadness. "Edward I am evil." I said. I burst into tears feeling sorry for the humans now. What if they did really have somewhere to go? And just needed extra money I had ended their lives for my own selfish reasons.

"You are not evil." He said.

"Edward I just killed people what would you call it?" I asked sniffling still in tears.

"Hormones." He said simply. I wasn't usually the one to cry but I had been all over the place since we found out the baby and i didn't know how to control it.

"I want to hurt you again." I said. He just stood there and let me hit him and punch him but my frustration was still there. I jumped to his height and took a chunk out of his neck spitting it out and feeling instantly better. I walked to the sofa sitting down as he was knelt on the ground holding his neck. "Where did that come from?" He asked holding his neck and going to the mirror just by the door. His neck didn't look too bad it would heal soon and he would be fine. I didn't even cut too deep it was just a slight rip. "I am sorry Edward." I said. He came back and we cuddled on the sofa. "Don't be sorry." He said.

"I understand if you change your mind I am turning into some monster with no control I don't know what it is I am just angry and emotional." I said.

"Alice I am still sticking to what I said and I have a feeling if we did... you know then you would regret it and end up hating me." He said. I didn't want to get rid of our baby I mean it wasn't quite obvious just yet but I had been feeling more emotional so and I knew it would probably progress rapidly. "I would never hate you for helping me." I said.

"I haven't done anything really." He said. I just stared he really didn't think much on himself.

"You are always here when I am upset even though you are married and already have a child." I said.

"I will always be here." He said. I smiled leaning on his chest thinking about if I get worse and he laughed. "Alice I wouldn't let you get too bad." He said. I smiled.

"Edward I want to get married." I said suddenly not even thinking I was just happy and I didn't want that to go away.

"I would marry you." He said.

"What about Tanya?" I asked. Surely she wouldn't' go for this.

"I don't think she would mind." He said. I thought about it wondering if she would be annoyed or just go along with it.


	5. 24th February 2013

24th February 2013

I went looking for Edward and bumped into Tanya instead. She smiled politely and walked into the kitchen. "Glass of wine?" She asked. I nodded feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden knowing she would be confronting me for what we did and I knew she knew i was pregnant. Oh shit yeah pregnant. She sat down watching me and sipping her wine. "Alice I know everything." She started. I was going to go into apologising but I wasn't really sorry. "Alice I am not angry or upset I understand what you did and Edward is of course sexy." She said. I nodded agreeing of course he was sexy.

"We were supposed to get married but if we talk with Edward I am sure he won't mind if we both marry him?" She raised an eyebrow. I stared at her waiting for the catch. "I am serious.." she said. I got up and hugged her. "We had better find him." I said.

I knew form this morning that he had got up before it had gotten light and went to the tree house in the garden. So Tanya went up first. "Hello Edward." She said."Hello Tanya. I heard and then I climbed up. "Hello Edward." I said smiling. "Hello Alice." He looked nervous brushing his hair with his hand and moving near the front of the tree house.

"We have a problem Edward." Tanya purred getting close to him. He looked very nervous and it was great torturing him. "What is that?" He stammered.

"We both want to marry you together." She finally said. I stood by Tanya watching Edward as he stumbled backwards and toppled out of the tree house. We both laughed. "Is that a problem Edward?" Tanya smiled. He quickly got up brushing himself. "Urm no no it isn't." He said.

We got down from the tree house and hugged him on both sides. He was quiet for about ten minutes probably getting over his heart attack. "Edward you haven't said anything." I said. "Well I am shocked that you both want to." He said. We just smiled. "We want to." Tanya and I said together. He was still speechless. "Or we could leave you and do something else?" Tanya suggested.

"Urm." He said. We laughed again.

"What is wrong with you today?" Tanya said. He was still touching his hair pulling his clothes and not looking at us. "Well I fell out of the tree" He said. We shook our head obviously he was nervous before that when we both came in.

"We will have to look after you." Tanya said and we both sat on his legs watching him. He was topless wearing a flimsy pair of shorts. "I don't really like the shorts do you Alice?" She looked at me. "No I don't." I said. His eyes widened. "So you both don't like them? What if I said I liked them?" He said. "Tough." Tanya said.

"We will burn them." I said joining in. He gulped as he watched us. We removed his shorts so he was naked and clipped his hands together and to the wall of the tree house. He was completely stuck and looked even more nervous. We both left the tree house."It's okay I will just marry the tree as well." He laughed. We came back up laughing. "You won't hurt me though?" he asked unsure.

"Of course not we love you." We both said.

"You are enjoying this aren't you?" He smirked.

"Enjoying what we aren't doing anything?" Tanya smiled.

"Of course not." He said and I slapped him. "Smartass."

"Alice hasn't seen the pole."" Edward's face changed immediately to fear. "No anything but the pole." He said.

"I want to see the pole." I whinged. He crossed his legs. "No not the pole." He crouched up in the corner.

"Now be a good boy." Tanya was talking to him as if he was a child and he didn't move from his position. "My pride is going to get hurt." He moaned."You will have to beg me to no do it." Tanya said loving every second of what she was doing.

"Lease I beg you not to get the pole please." He was actually begging and I just got the camera from the floor and videoed everything laughing. Tanya dangled the keys in front of Edward and he got on his knees well as much as he could and begged some more. "I don't think it is good enough." I said. Tanya smiled.

"You will have to do better than that." She said smiling. He seemed angry but continued to beg. "I will do anything." He said. I laughed thinking that wasn't a good idea with Tanya around to say that but Tanya untied his hands \and he got up to walk away straight away. "Where are you going?" Tanya asked. He continued climbing down the steps. "Away from here." He said moody. "Come inside." Tanya said taking my hand and we went inside Edward followed looking pissed still.

We opened the bottle of wine sharing it in the bottle as Edward watched us from the door. "Join us." I said and he slowly walked over. "We don't bite." Tanya slurred and laughed. We gave him a fresh bottle for himself and he cautiously took it not taking his eyes off us as we drank our bottle. After we had finished the room was spinning slightly and I could tell we were both pretty much done for. I looked at Tanya and we laughed as we blocked our minds from Edward. He was still cautious of us and started to back away. I obviously knew what he was going to do and caught him. "Nah ah you aren't moving." I said. He gulped looking at me trying to figure out what was happening and I had to distract him while Tanya came in through the French doors with the hose. She turned it on as I stepped out of the way drenching Edward he did 't take it well he looked beyond pissed and Tanya propped up the hose holding my hand and we joined Edward dancing as we got soaked.

"Real funny girls." Edward was getting his hair off his face and trying to wipe his face as he completely dripped.

"We haven't done anything." We both said innocently.

"Really? So why am I soaking?" He asked. We laughed/. "Maybe you had an accident?" Tanya suggested. "Oh yes in my hair and on my clothes." He said. He wasn't drunk at all it actually looked like he hadn't touched the wine we had almost finished off. We had our arms round each other and laughed as Edward continued watching us looking nervous. "Is everything okay Edward?" Tanya asked. He only nodded not saying anything. We were actually undressed with our arms around each other dancing again as he watched. "We are not doing anything at all." Tanya said. "No nothing." I smirked.

"You are naked wet and dancing together and you expect me to have a clear mind?" He said.

"We are technically married to each other as well." Tanya said.

"So why can't we do the things we do with you with each other?" I said.

Tanya took my hand walking to the living room. "He doesn't appreciate us." She said. Edward followed standing by the door his eyes shut and his breathing weird. "We are too shy to do anything in front of you." Tanya said. She shut the door on Edward and we laughed.

We started showing possibilities in our heads I knew this because Tanya was smirking watching me and we had our eyes on each other we kept quiet knowing he would see everything we were thinking and we knew he would love it.

"At least control it both of you." Edward whispered. We just laughed again and made our thoughts more vivid. He opened the door to find us kissing and stared as he watched. We smiled as we kissed and then everywhere went dark.

I looked over to the crumpled bodies on the sofa sighing. They had really done it this time trying to tease me and it worked I mean I couldn't control myself it wasn't easy at all and then they blackened out. I heard stirring and looked over to them. "Ow my head." Tanya moaned. Alice sat up as well.

"What happened?" She looked around. The floor was soaked and the hose pipe was still propped but I had managed to stop the water and got myself dry. They however were both still soaking. "Hose pipe, wine and two naked girls kissing." I said laughing.

"I would have loved to know what was going through your head." She laughed. I smiled at her thinking back to it. "I am sure it isn't that hard to imagine what was going through my head." I said.

"Perve." She said. Alice was listening to us. "Good morning." I said.

She just nodded I assumed it was maybe the hangover kicking in. "You twp are terrible." I said.

"You chose us you deal with it." Tanya stated and Alice nodded.

"Oww my head." Alice whined the same as Tanya had. Tanya gave her small pills. "Take these." She said and Alice did.

"I bet your last wife wasn't this much fun." Tanya said. I shook my head. Bell wasn't up for anything adventurous she was kind of boring.

"You made bad decisions I mean a human and vampire."! She said. I just let her have her rant get it all out like she usually did and not hide anything she felt. That was Tanya all over.

We sat and watched TV for a bit as we talked and I had my arms around them. "You know I could do the same thing to you two." I said. Their faces lit up and I smirked at how amused they were. "Like find a man and kiss him?" Alice said. I laughed. "That would entertain you both." I said. They looked at me as if I had told them they had won something huge. They got up. "We will find you someone." And they went out and came back with a human. I just watched them bring him in. He was a bit older than I was and he looked terrified and drunk. I could smell the beer on his breath from miles away. I walked to the human not believing what I was going to do and kissed him. He was too drunk to care and then I pulled back wiping my mouth in disgust as the girls squealed and clapped. I rolled my eyes at them. "Here you go girls." I pushed the human to them and watched them tear him up and eat him. They were vicious ripping his skin up and eating it like there was never going to be any food again.

"You cheated on us." Tanya laughed.

"I am sorry." I said knowing she wasn't serious and both girls just stared at me probably surprised I did what I did. Hell I was surprised I did it too. Never again though.

24th February 2013

The meadow brought back so many memories I had as I clutched my divorce papers that had been delivered yesterday morning I found the part of the meadow Edward used to take me to. I sighed sitting down I needed Edward I didn't want to be on my own forever and when I first had the divorce papers I was in tears. I thought it was a joke I hoped it was a joke and I needed so badly to talk to him.

The wind moved the flowers in the meadow and I swear I saw someone walking fast. I prayed it be Edward and when I saw him step out into the clearing. I almost burst into tears. I dropped the papers and ran to him. "I knew you wouldn't really leave me." I said. He wrapped his arms around me. "Bella I could never leave you." He said and I did cry I was so happy knowing it was a joke this wasn't real at all we could be happy again like we had been not distant like lately we had been. He hadn't come to our cottage in months I hadn't gone to the main house as I didn't know if I would be welcome anymore but now everything was normal. I looked up at him and noticed his eyes right away. "What happened Edward?" I asked. I knew what red eyes meant and I wondered if he had chosen someone who was bad or had just gone attacking people. He had changed a lot since I saw him but he wanted me and that was all I cared about "Just a change in diet."He shrugged it off.

"Take me home Edward." I sighed pressing my face to his neck and inhaling his familiar smell. He sat down on the grass and I was slightly confused. "Let's just sit here for a bit." He said. I sat down beside him and saw he was only wearing shorts. I didn't know what I was thinking but it had been so long so I pulled on his shorts undoing his button and then mine.

"Not a wise move Bella." Edward said. I ignored him and then I saw them coming out of the bushes. The familiar small figure and then Tanya and I was even more confused. Alice was pregnant as well I could just about make it out but they were heading towards us holding hands. I didn't even know they were friends and then Tanya said. "He is our man now." I got to my feet angry.

"No he is my husband tell them Edward you are mine you said so yourself. You are all mine again." I said holding his face and kissing him as he let me. If he didn't love me he wouldn't do that. "I think you need to step away." Tanya had now come in between us pulling Edward who freely let her. I dived on him as my pants were almost round my ankles and wrapped myself around him. "You are mine." I said wrapping myself around his waist. "I really don't think you should do that." He said. I ignored him finishing getting him naked and then Tanya and Alice both grabbed me holding me away from him. "Edward why would you lie why would you tell me things why?" I cried letting tears fall down as he just grinned at me enjoying it all. He had definitely changed and I was betrayed. Alice was supposed to be my sister and here she was I assumed pregnant and I was pretty damn sure Jasper wasn't involved.

Alice and Tanya both started hitting me as I tried to fight them but they took turns holding me as they hit and punched kicked and pulled my hair. I just cried out to Edward who was watching with a grin on his face. "Please Edward you love me tell them to stop." I shielded myself from them and Edward said. "That is enough girls." Tanya and Alice let go walking to Edward's side. "And I loved you." He said before walking away and leaving me crying in the meadow half naked. I cried for Edward and for the betrayal feeling the de ja vu but this was much worse I knew I wouldn't get Edward back now he had changed and I wasn't a part of his world.


	6. 25th February 2013

25th February 2013

I vowed I would never go to the meadow again as I didn't want to see Edward. He had embarrassed me and Alice my best friend had betrayed me. I was so hurt and destroyed. I didn't know where to go or who to turn to and my head was messed up so I just sat on the beach knowing it was too cold for anyone else to be here and cried at everything i lost thinking about Edward.

"Hey Bella what's wrong?" I jump not realising I was being watched and turn to see Jasper. Jasper's eyes were black and he had lines all round them like he hadn't slept in a while.

"Edward is gone, I am completely alone." I said. I continued looking at the sky wondering why he was here also and how long he was watching me for. I felt slightly self conscious as Jasper and I had never really been best friends

"I am sorry." He said. I let the tears fall as I said nothing. I felt Jasper's gift as my sadness was lifted slightly and smiled. "Thank you." I turned to him and then walked over and he hugged me. I settled into his arms not thinking of anything I was doing and still upset and hurt at Edward. I wondered where Alice was and why she had been with Edward that night and not Jasper.

Jasper lifted up after a while and took my hand. "Come on let's go home." He said and we walked to the house together. When we got home nothing happened well nothing bad happened anyway we kissed and lay together and Jasper had told me that Alice had left him and cheated with Edward which explained what was going on and I felt so terrible that one person ruined two other people's lives. Jasper had asked me that night if I wanted to go travelling with him and I agreed as I felt something for him not the same as Edward but something was there and I wasn't sure if he felt the same or was just upset because of Alice hell maybe I was just upset about Edward but I was not staying alone my whole life. We had a little much to drink and words came out that weren't supposed to but Jasper had said I love you that night and I had said it back.

25th February 2013

I had woken up all on my own again as Edward was with Tanya and Jasper had not come back. I knew Jasper didn't want me anymore and it hurt so badly. I did love him yes but I don't really regret what I did and I sure wasn't telling Jasper about the baby no way. He would find out soon enough anyway. I sat on the porch with my morning drink and Jasper pulled up in his car. I didn't see who else was there but a shadow was cast in the window so he wasn't alone and that was why he didn't come back last night.

"Jasper." I said kind of relieved. He turned to me after locking his car. "Yes?" We hadn't really spoken since he left and handed me my wedding ring back so I felt like we should maybe speak. "Jasper I want you to talk to me." I said. I sounded desperate but we still had Ava and Ava was only three years old and still needed us. "I don't think we should be together." He said. I nodded watching everything we had been crumble down. "I don't want to get divorced." I said. I wanted to still be married I didn't even want him to leave me. "We can be friends." He said. I didn't say anything. I didn't want to be friends I still didn't know who was in the car. I knew him better than anyone and he knew me so this would just be awkward being friends and still living together Jasper must have thought the same as he said. "I will move my things out of our room." I just nodded not saying anything as this was actually real I was close to tears but I didn't show it I knew he could feel it but he didn't seem bothered I knew his was my fault and he must still be angry at me.

Jasper then explained to me he was going to his hometown and I just listened not showing or at least trying to show anything as he would be really leaving and he wouldn't just be in another room he would be somewhere I couldn't reach him at if I had to which I probably wouldn't. "Jasper can you take Ava?" I asked. He nodded getting Ava and bringing her out with her coat and her bag of things I had packed for our trip to Australia which wouldn't happen now. Ava had no idea what was going on. "Look after her Jasper." I said. I had never left Ava with him on their own and I didn't know if he would look after her I still wondered who was in the car. I was staring n the window and Jasper followed my gaze. "Bella is coming too." He said. I almost choked. Bella who i had attacked the other day I am sure she had told him what had happened and I knew they had kissed last night I had been watching him and I couldn't believe it so quickly he had gotten rid of me. "Okay." Was all I said. I said goodbye to Ava and then Jasper was in front of me it was awkward we didn't know what to do he just stared at me and I stared back and then he finally left in his car.

25th February 2013

Tanya was getting dressed and I was alone with Alice. I knew something was wrong she had blocked her mind and she only did this when something was wrong. She looked up and finally unblocked it showing me events I wasn't sure when it happened but she showed me Bella and Jasper and that they had gone away together and were all close. I could tell how sad this made Alice and I had my arms around her letting her know I am here for her and I knew she appreciated it because she smiled to her eyes and that was a real smile which she hadn't done recently. Maybe I was going soft in my old age or something but I was supporting Alice and being here for her and it actually felt good. With Tanya she didn't want emotional comfort most of our relationship was physical and that was it except our son.

***flashback***

Alice had left the room after getting dressed and we just thought she was in a mood but I saw in her mind her frustration and anger as she entered the shopping mall and I followed her with Tanya. We were too late though all the walls had caved in there was blood all over the floor and Alice was running around with a crazy look on her face attacking all of the humans she could. Almost everybody who could escape had left and the mall was pretty much empty and destroyed. I had to put Alice over my shoulder and Tanya helped clear up and we took Alice home. Alice was in tears about what she had done we had to comfort her almost all night to help her and she just blamed the child which was funny as she was very hormonal and I had no idea how to handle her.

***flashback finished***

Alice was still in my arms a little happier now she had calmed down. "I can't believe how much you have changed." She was saying. I just explained how change was good sometimes and she seemed to like me like this she enjoyed our strange conversations and my nakedness and whoring. But she wasn't happy she was hurt and I couldn't help that part as much as I wanted to kill Jasper for leaving her as it was obvious he knew how she was feeling and just didn't care this made him an asshole in my books I was here to pick the piece s up comforting Alice and being a shoulder for her to cry on which seemed to be every ten minutes. She turned to me with angry eyes. I could hear in her thoughts that were very inappropriate. "Edward lay down and get naked." She yelled at me. I did as she said and she climbed on and spent pretty much the rest of the night well you know the rest...


	7. 26th February - 27th February 2013

26th February 2013

Something was wrong with Tanya she had blocked her mind and had run off now. "Edward go after her." Alice had said. I got up and ran into the forest after Tanya and found where she was.

"Care to talk." She was sitting on the grass pulling it from the ground and her mind was telling me she wasn't happy. But of course she denied it. I had tried to find out why but she shut that part off from her mind. "Edward, Alice spent the whole night crying while you hunted she was so upset and I think we need to do something."

"I can hear you." Alice appeared from the trees and in sight. "You are not kicking anyone's ass." She said. We sighed. We wanted to hurt Bella and Jasper for making Alice so sad especially Jasper he had caused her pain and hurt her so bad she had been crying and he just ran off with Bella.

Tanya was hiding something as we walked back Alice had already gone we could hear her upset again and Tanya rolled her eyes. We had started arguing again all about my past which she keeps bringing up and this wasn't helping Alice in fact it was probably making her feel worse and then Alice yelled at us and we stopped. Tanya had walked away to give us privacy and I sat on the bed with the big lump of blanket called Alice.

"I want payback." She said coming out from the blanket. "Perfect." I said. I was pleased to be getting back at Bella I didn't feel one once of sorrow for her she was just pathetic and I hated her. "Maybe set them on fire?" Alice suggested.

Just then Tanya came in. "Right I have men and women and Alice you get to pick whoever first to take your frustration out on." I chuckled as she brought the humans in naked and chained up. "Oh and I ordered lions." She said.

Alice dragged the one that looks like Jasper to the room next door I could see in her mind torturing him and then she undressed and they... Oh crap no I knew this would end badly the guilt of it all she had just fucked a human out of anger and frustration. We finally heard cracking of bones and then a yelp form Alice. I looked to Tanya and we both walked to the other room Alice was on the floor hysterical. It took about an hour to calm her down after she was threatening to die and Tanya joined us after clearing the body and blood from the floor. "Maybe we should get revenge on them not the humans?" She said. Alice was falling asleep and I carried her to the bed and she curled up still crying but softer now. Tanya was trying to cheer her up telling her about the circus and humans and the whips we had to sort them out and sharks and lions.

She brought the humans in whipping them and Alice got up and broke one of their necks. "Now dance for me." Tanya was having way too much fun watching them getting hurt and whipping them. She set their clothes on fire and watched them run around trying to put it out,. None of them spoke they all looked terrified and Tanya was feeding off of their fear. I grabbed Tanya pulling her over. "You smell irresistible." I said as I inhaled the human blood smell. She was smiling and we kissed. "I am leaving if you do that." Alice said miserably. I took hold of Alice's hand and we all stripped except for Alice who needed encouragement and I eventually had two naked girls and we fucked all night as the humans watched us all three of us.

27th February

I had been worrying about facing Alice again and dropping Ava off but I didn't want to bump into Edward and I was sure Edward would be there. Bella was comforting me but it wasn't helping much. I didn't really love Bella but Bella had wanted to come with me and get away from Edward who had apparently attacked her with Alice. I didn't know what to think anymore of Alice she had changed we just didn't belong anymore and she cheated on me which still made me angry. I didn't want to go to court and have to fight for access if things got ugly but I might have to Alice was still angry at me. "You don't want Ava living with Alice she will turn into a bitch." I had my hands through my hair looking outside when I heard crashing and someone coming up the steps.

I couldn't see who it was but the door had been kicked down and Tanya, Alice and Edward were standing there angry. "Watch what you say about Alice." Edward yelled at me. Bella was cowering in the corner. "We weren't talking about Alice." Bella said. Edward laughed. "I heard everything you said." He said.

"Get out now." I got up to Edward's face we glared at each other angry but Edward didn't move at all. I didn't want to fight but I would if I had to. Alice came over pulling Edward away. "Edward lets go we don't want to catch something." She laughed and threw her ring at me which banged on the floor and walked to the door. She didn't seem angry she didn't seem upset or remorseful for what she had done it was as if she purposely had done this.

"Are you going to let some slapper tell you what to do with your daughter?" Edward said. I pushed him out but then Alice came back with a huge pole and swung it round hitting Bella and knocking her across the room so she landed on the floor she was crumpled not moving on the floor. "Get out now." I yelled at them but they didn't listen. "Don't touch me." Edward had pushed me with force I did go flying across the room but I landed on my feet glaring at him.

Edward then grabbed Alice from the door and pulled her to his arms and they kissed. I felt the anger bubbling I knew he was doing this on purpose and he could hear my thoughts probably satisfy him so I wanted to hurt them or at least hurt Alice. "I made a huge mistake going to you Alice I should have stayed with the newborns." I watched her face sadden slightly but then Edward was there they were whispering and she just laughed. It hadn't worked.

Tanya came running in the room with the same pole and swung it round whacking my legs and I fell to the ground clutching myself in pain. "Bullsye." She said and everyone laughed. Alice came and stood over me angry.

"Is something wrong? Because let me tell you something Jasper you just leave one day and no reason at all and then you come here with Bella with Ava too and you think I am completely fine when you just leave me. I was so frustrated and angry you had no idea no you are just a loser. I don't want to be married to you? You never cared about me you hated me and wanted me around so you look good well you look shit and your whore does too. Oh and I know you know but don't get excited it's not yours." Alice said.

I didn't actually realise she was pregnant but I looked up at her face she was angry her face was blushed but she also looked sad and her eyes were dark like she had been crying. I was too busy thinking about the pain to do anything and I didn't care anymore.

Alice, Tanya and I walked back to where we were staying.

Alice ran up to the bedroom and hid in the covers crying again. Today had been exhausting for all of us and I knew she was still hurt and upset with him but she felt a little better which was a start. "I think it's time to start the divorce." She looked up at me with tearful eyes. I pulled her to a hug. "If that is what you want to do." I said.


	8. 28th February - 2nd March 2013

28th February 2013

I did it I actually got up early the next morning actually had a shower and made myself look presentable and went to the court and came out with divorce papers. Two copies of papers one for me and one for Jasper. It was really happening. I needed air and vodka but I wasn't allowed vodka so I went and sat in the forest as far away from the house as possible and hope no one would find me while I read the papers. I spread them on the ground and heard footsteps through the grass.

Edward emerged from the trees. I didn't have to speak he saw the papers and came to sit by me. "How do you feel about this?" he said. I crawled onto his lap actually happy he came. "I am not sure." I said. He put his arms round me as I stared at them. I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to cry again. I knew he would get sick of my tears at some point I didn't want to ruin what we started now and be on my own with a kid and no husband or anything.

I threw them to the side. "I don't want to deal with this right now." I said. He just nodded. "I was glad I got my divorce but of course this is different to mine." I nodded. "I don't want to feel guilty anymore." I said looking up.

"Why do you feel guilty?" I looked down feeling my eyes watering and begging I didn't start again. Je was being very patient as it was. "Because I keep getting upset and I am with you." I said.

He just laughed. "I understand completely you are upset because you were together a long time and that is okay." He said.

I smiled "We really showed them didn't we?" I remember kicking the shit out of them and that did actually make me feel better."He was terrified of us and I almost laughed when you knocked Bella out." I laughed. I thought about when they left. "I was spying on them." I admitted. "I know." Was all he said? I tried to look at his face for signs of anger but his face was fine. He looked relaxed not angry at all. "I had to make sure they didn't." I cut off not wanting to say it the thought made me sick after two days they were already fucking and in front of Ava as well it wasn't going to happen. He left me so why should he be happy at all? Edward didn't say anything I think he thought the wrong idea that I was doing it because I still loved him but that wasn't it I didn't want him to be happy I was so angry at him.

"Shall we go home?"I asked. Edward nodded and I got onto his back and we went home. "I think I am ready to sign these." I said when we got home.

"Don't feel like you have to." I sat on the floor with my pen as Edward stood at the door and Tanya was by him they were both watching me as if I was a child learning to write and I just couldn't do it. If I did this it would be letting go forever I didn't want him but he shouldn't be free he should be alone forever alone and never find anyone.

I quickly signed it not thinking anymore and sighed in relief. Edward didn't say anything he just walked to the bathroom while I stayed on the floor.

"It's done." I said. I was worried about facing him after what we did I was sure he read this as he popped his head round the door. "I can do it Alice if you want." I shook my head. That would be worse then I would look like I couldn't do anything and I was avoiding him which I wanted to I couldn't wait to never see him again.

They were messing around in the shower and I covered my head with my blanket shaking and rocking. I had lost it again I had held it in all day and they were leaving me out and I was lonely now even though Edward had been there I was lonely and hurt and that isn't a good combination.

He rushed out as soon as he knew and hugged me. Tanya got out of the shower wrapped in the towel looking pissed off. "This is really doing my head in go back to your damn husband and leave us alone." Tanya yelled. I sobbed hysterical as Edward hugged me tighter. I didn't want to look at his face I could tell he was angry. "What the fuck." He let go and stood up in front of Tanya.

"She obviously still cares Edward."

"She wouldn't if you didn't keep going on about Bella." He yelled I covered my ears as they yelled at each other and swore.

I rocked more shutting my eyes as the door slammed and I looked up. Tanya was gone. I had ruined their marriage with my moping around I knew it would happen I was so selfish. "Maybe I should leave." I said looking down. "You are not going anywhere I would happily sign the papers away wither how angry I am at the minute."

She walked back in a minute later. "You are talking about me?" She said. She had been spying on us while we spoke. We should have both known.

They started arguing again about Bella I felt sick all of a sudden and rushed out of the room. When I came back in Edward had handed his ring to Tanya. "You are spiteful not the person I married at all I refuse to wear this."

I stood by the door listening not wanting to get involved even though it was all about me Tanya hated me she had finally showed that she hated me and everything that happened was fake. I guess it wasn't a surprise. I crawled my way back to the bathroom lying on the floor as they argued feeling warm and sick. I heard the door slam shut and Edward stood by the bathroom door. "I'm sorry." I said he came and sat with me and we just talked about the old times I was just thinking about how he was too nice and I had pretty much ruined his marriage and yet he was calm and kind I didn't deserve it. We started talking about the baby and maybe that was the reason I was sad all the time probably didn't help and the noticeable bump now that was a little more unmissable I mean you could tell I looked rounded but everything was going to be fine.

1st March 2013 – 2nd March 2013

After Tanya's outburst she hadn't come home for 3 days and finally she comes in looking innocent as if she did nothing at all. "I'm sorry." Was all she said,. She expected everything to be fine after she was so mean to Alice it took ages to persuade her to stay and that I was being truthful. So Today she comes in and asks why I took my ring off which I still hadn't put back on actually I had forgotten as the last day had been peaceful with Alice.

"No arguing." Alice warned us. Tanya stood there with her arms folded. "Please don't yell my head is killing." I shrugged her hangover was not my problem. "I don't appreciate you constantly reminding me of my past and being mean to everyone." She shrugged. "Whatever." Was all she said and I could feel the anger building up again. Alice quickly stepped in between us. "Tanya go and take these and Edward calm down." Tanya left and I started to calm but then she came back and I glared at her. I was sick of her now. I wasn't sure I loved her anymore I didn't know but I knew I loved Alice even if Tanya left I would have Alice.

"Come on sit down before I bang your heads together." Alice said and we both sat down. "Why should we listen to you you are divorced." Tanya managed to sneak in and I rolled my eyes. "Here we go again." I muttered.

So then we got our anger out and of course Tanya brings up everything again she always knew what to do to make me angry I swear she actually does it on purpose I just wanted to leave.

"Fuck this." I said getting pissed off and walking off. Alice caught up too quick and managed to get me in and then blocked off the doors and windows. "You will sit and sort this out." She said. I sighed and sat down with Tanya. Alice was listening to us and when we said something bad she slapped us and everyone calmed down but my head was spinning. "I have a migraine." I moaned.

Tanya and Alice seemed to be plotting something but I was too migrainy to care. "Edward take this." Alice came over with tablets I assumed were for headaches and I was out of it.

The girls were laughing and I opened my eyes feeling groggy. "Edward you look hilarious." Tanya laughed. I just looked round. "Your mankini Edward." Alice said. I looked down to see my bright green mankini. "Ah fucking ah." I said. I was a bit angry more groggy but I was coming round. I started feeling sick. Alice showed me what they had given me I didn't know how much they had but it was a sleeping medicine it said on it only take a certain amount but I was sure they overdosed me it was beyond a joke I wasn't laughing and neither was they when I got up and puked it all back up feeling terrible. As soon as I was out the room they started at each other again arguing again and my head was still dodgy I didn't want to deal with this.

I went to sleep for a bit and when I woke Alice was there next to me and Tanya had Connor in her arms. "He wanted you." She extended her arms for me and I took him. He smiled up at me. "He has had a fun time riding the lions back." She said.

"I need to go." Alice said, I wasn't sure if we were making her uncomfortable with Connor sat by us and tugging my ear. "What's going on?" Tanya asked. "Divorce papers." Was all I had to say.

We stayed by while Alice was talking to Jasper I could hear everything,. They weren't screaming at each other which I guess was a good sign and he had signed the papers which meant it was over Alice could get over this and we could all be together.

She came in the room. "All done." She looked down. I lifted her chin. "No need to be sad it's over." I said. She smiled. "He didn't put up a fight he just signed them." She said. I think she was hoping they would get back together it hurt to know she still loved him but I couldn't show it I was a mistake anyway it wasn't supposed to happen and I ruined a marriage but Alice needed someone and the marriage didn't seem that good anyway.

"Oh fuck sake." Tanya was standing up rolling her eyes. I glared at her. "Fuck sake you are more like a baby even Connor is more mature than you." I said.

The next thing was a blur they launched at each other fighting and I just walked out fed up of it and got drunk until I heard Tanya forcing Alice to drink the medicine she had almost forced the whole bottle down while she was half unconscious. I walked in a little drunk and held Tanya up by her throat against the wall. She coughed and choked. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Teaching you a lesson." I slapped her. "Change your ways or fuck off out of my life." I let her go and walked away. She called after me saying I was hers first I knew this was all about jealousy and she needed to seriously get over it.

She carried on trying to annoy me and even kicked me but I didn't react until Alice woke up. "What happened?" I picked her up carrying her outside with me. Tanya following. "Tanya gave you that stuff you gave me." I said. Tanya was still trying to wind me up saying the stuff was really bad and kills humans quickly.

She finally apologised and Alice started screaming. "It burns. She yelled moving around in my arms. "Drink this." I said giving her a bottle of purifier. "It will get it out of your body."

She took it and then settled a little. "Edward she really wants to kill me maybe I should leave you both." She said. I looked down at her as she looked up. "Alice you can't leave me now." I said. I was serious. She had been here less than a month and already i felt things for her that Tanya didn't quite get. Alice was completely different but I loved her it was strange for me. "I love you Alice." I whispered. She stayed quiet as I could hear in her head she was thinking she ruined everything for me. I reassured her she hadn't honestly she hadn't ruined anything I loved her. "We really messed up." She said,. I didn't speak we hadn't messed anything we weren't related by blood so it didn't matter. I could see in her head she wanted jasper and Bella to die horribly. I smiled at this.

I sat her on the bed and she grabbed the papers reading them and I could see the tears again I didn't react I just wanted them to be finalised to get this over. "I can't believe he didn't fight or anything." She said. I just muttered under my breathe. She was building with angers and then the papers were torn into pieces and I sighed hiding my face a little pissed off. "It was nearly over and now we gotta do this again." I said. She was weeping. "I'm sorry." She said.

I told her some truths she didn't want to hear and I knew it hurt but she needed to realise he didn't care and to stop wanting him back nothing would be different but she seemed to think it would. I walked off to the bathroom angry as she calmed down and I heard her ringing for more papers.

We sat down on the bed and Tanya walked in Alice gripped onto me. She didn't say sorry oh no the first thing she did was insult Alice and tell me I didn't carte about her. I think this was more aimed at Alice than me I could take it but Alice was fragile at the minute. Alice was sobbing in my arms scared that she would die from another one of Tanya's ideas or lose the baby this wasn't going to happen as I explained to Tanya all she had to do was accept Alice and everything would be fine but she was acting jealous and this wasn't going to work if I had to pick I would easily pick Alice.


	9. 3rd March - 4th March 2013

3rd March 2013

I hated that I had to go and see Jasper today but I wanted to at the same time. I don't know what was going on. I went to see him and we kinda argued but not full on yelling because the kids were there. Ava needed us both and Jasper was taking her to New York for a holiday I had to give them money I mean he had none now we had broken up and then I went home.

I went straight to be bathroom and heard them talking about me but I was upset I didn't want to argue all of the time and he starts it every time anyway. I was actually angry and upset.

4th March 2013

It was wedding preparation time I was obviously in charge and I was flicking through magazines with Tanya while Edward was doing whatever he was doing. I was keeping an eye on him I had seen something but I wasn't sure just yet. I had to persuade Tanya to help me but she was being stubborn and then Edward walked in. "What's going on?" He asked. There were magazines all around everywhere and colour charts and UI had written some things down that we needed to do I suppose it would look weird to anyone else. Tanya was whining to Edward as she wouldn't help me it was as if she expected me to do everything unless she didn't want to at all it would make sense since I know she didn't like me.

"We have to dye both of your hair." I said. I would have my way but Edward pouted. "No one touches the hair. I rolled my eyes. "Big baby." I laughed. He was worse than girls. Not like it would be permanent or anything just a day lasting wash out and as long as it didn't rain it would be fine. Edward just left moaning about his hair like a girl and we left him to have his tantrum he would be back and I will get my hands on his hair. He eventually came back and we dyed his hair with his hands tied and then showed him. It wasn't completely purple but he had purple in there and it looked amazing even he looked impressed. I then did Tanya's and we were almost finished for the wedding.

4th March 2013

I tried to get away from the girls as they slept they had both spread around the bed and Alice pretty much took it over she was actually getting bigger by the day. I got up turned the shower on and heard shuffling Tanya came into the shower getting undressed. "Hey sexy." She grinned and I could hear what she wanted I welcomed her into the shower. "It has been a long time." I nodded. She came closer. "I might have to start going elsewhere." "Oh really?" I pulled her closer and yes I guess we fucked in the shower and woke Alice up because she burst through the door looking angry. "Everyone has to use this shower you know." We pulled apart quickly as Alice turned to leave. We got out the shower and joined Alice on the bed.


	10. 9th March - 12th March 2013

9th March 2013

It was the day of the wedding. I was sat the morning of my wedding watching football while the girls were arguing again and then Alice came over. "I wanted company." She said. We snuggled on the sofa together and Tanya had gone off. We talked for a while then Alice kicked me out.

Tanya had come back now and I made my way to the gardens and waited for the girls. All around me was blossom and purple flowers all arranged by Alice no doubt. I hadn't been involved in the planning so all of this was new to me. I know Alice had it all controlled.

The car arrived and first Tanya stepped out. Her hair was completely purple and it suited her she smiled as she walked to me and I took her hands and pulled her close to kiss just as Alice came out the car she walked to me and we all hugged together until it was time.

It wasn't a full on proper wedding it was just a tiny sign on the line wedding nothing too dramatic and no vows were said. We just had rings and papers and that was final and then a huge party to get hammered afterwards.

9th March 2013

"Ow my poor feet." I sat down and they had swelled to look enormous all red and puffy. This was one of the worse things about being pregnant and I had been on my feet in heels all day probably not the best choice. I had also been good and hadn't touched the drink like Tanya must have been on her 3rd bottle now. I just sat quietly thinking about the divorce being finalised and confused about how I felt. Edward was sat next to me he just took my hand and smiled. I didn't feel like partying too much and Edward hadn't touched his drink either. We had danced through the night as Tanya got drunk and stumbled around and in the end Edward had to carry her home while I walked barefoot

9th March 2013

The letter had just come through to say I was divorced. It was over done with I was kind of relieved but I was hurt. I had no connection to my husband who I have been with for over fifty years. I have been spying on them for days now and hearing them saying I love you to each other hurt. I never say it to Edward though he understands I mean it with him but I can't bring myself to do it Edward meant everything to me but I shouldn't have to explain myself I don't know why I still feel confused and hurt It was over.

12th March 2013

I had an idea where Alice was and I didn't want to think about it. She was bringing the hurt on herself going to see him all of the time and covering it up by saying it is for their child when clearly it wasn't. Every time she saw him she was crying after it took ages to calm her down and here we were again. I had Tanya in my arms while Alice was out we had alone time which didn't happen often so we moved to the bed kissing but Tanya pulled away. "Not today Edward." She said.

"I was only kissing you." I smirked. I was after her but she had rejected me so I had to cover it up with a lie. "Sure." She laughed and snuggled up as Alice walked in. "Is this a private party or can anyone join?" She asked. She wasn't crying so that was a good sign I guess but I didn't think it would be long before she cried. It was always the same like walking on egg shells you had to watch what you say around her. "You can join us." I said. She came over and sat down by us on the edge of the bed. I had to get dressed as I knew Alice wouldn't appreciate my nakedness and thinking something happened without her. She was weird when we were in the shower about it. Tanya sat up as well. "So where did you go?" Tanya was being nosy about where Alice was but it was obvious she knew and wanted gossip. I could hear her thoughts luckily she didn't say anything about what she was thinking because another argument would have started. She really didn't like Alice no matter how much she faked it. I could hear it every day "I was with Jasper he is coming back." She said. I nodded not sure what to think about this. Was it really a good idea for her to see him every day? I realised now that she would always love Jasper and I was probably just a bit on the side till they got back together. I loved Alice but she hadn't said I love you not even on our wedding day I might be trying too hard to make something work and it is all one sided. I knew it was wrong to have married her but Alice was sexy and gorgeous and I loved her enough said.

12th March 2013

I had come home to give Ava back to Alice. I didn't want to start any arguments. I wasn't here to fight or talk I didn't want to see Alice really. Carlisle greeted me at the door. "You are back?" He asked. I shook my head. "I am just bringing Ava back." I said. I hoped no one else was home and Carlisle would leave me be. Ava was getting things out of the car. "Everyone misses you." He was saying.

I doubted that was true I didn't know if he knew everything or they had spun some lie to sound like the good ones when it was their faults especially Alice's fault for what happened she was the reason I left. "What about Bella?" Bella had stayed at the hotel while I had driven Ava. She didn't want to face anyone either but unlike me she had a choice. "Alice is inside." He stepped out the way and I walked into the living room where Alice was sitting most likely waiting but there was no sign of Edward. I sat down near the edge of the sofa away from Alice. Ava went up to her room.

"I'm sorry." Alice broke the silence looking up at me and my throat clenched. I was angry hell yeah I was angry about everything but seeing her looking and feeling sad must have softened me. I tried to shake it away but instead I even surprised myself. "I am sorry too." I said. She nodded.

"At least we aren't arguing." I said. I could feel the tension in the room everything was awkward now it was like we were strangers and I didn't even know her anymore. I looked down wishing it had been different. Bella was great to have but I loved Alice truly loved her and I could feel what she felt about me mixed with the anger there was hurt and that ate away at me.

"You really need to come back for Ava of course." She said. I nodded I was going to talk with Bella we would sort this out. I wanted to come home I wanted Alice back the way everything was before and get rid of Edward or give Bella back to him.

12th March 2013

Alice had told me they were coming home and I looked out the bedroom window for the car. The car parked and Bella got out with Jasper and headed inside the house. Everyone else went out and I had my chance to annoy Bella I knew this would piss Jasper off and I was bored and needed a bit of fun. My girls were away and I needed someone. So I waited for them to sit down and get comfortable and then I walked in. "I had to see for myself that you came back." I smirked at the uncomfortable atmosphere and Bella turning away as soon as I came in the room. "We are not leaving." Jasper said. I shrugged. "I never said you had to." I said. I was loving this Bella wouldn't give eye contact she just looked out the window as far away from me as possible. So I went and sat down her and she took in a breath. "Go away Edward." She whispered. Jasper didn't say anything at all Alice had said she was a sap so I took no notice of him. I held out my hand and inhaled her scent. "Still smell as good as the first time we met." I said. she shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, Jasper was looking around the room I could hear everything and I was loving it I had made him angry if he started attacking me I would kill his ass in seconds but first I wanted to torture Bella.

"Why are you in here?" She asked still whispering. I smiled at her knowing she would just melt in my presence. "I had to see you Bella." I said. She looked up at me I couldn't tell what her expression meant but I assumed she was toying the idea I would have her back. "Please go." She shut her eyes and Jasper walked out the room. I heard throwing from the kitchen but ignored it. I shuffled closer to Bella. "I know that isn't what you want." I said close to her breathing cold air onto her ear and she shivered. She didn't speak and I knew I had her. "Edward leave her alone." Jasper walks back in as my hands traced her soft cheeks. She was cold now I still remembered the flush and warmth coming from her body and missed it a little. I wasn't going soppy of course I didn't want Bella.

I stood up face to face with Jasper. "What are you going to do about it?" I said. He backed down a little and I laughed. "You are pathetic you didn't even fight for your wife the mother of your children." I knew that would get a reaction. "What about you? You left your wife and took someone else's?" I smirked. "Your wife came to me what does that say about you?" I was enjoying this way too much and I doubt my grin was helping any of this. He just walked out the door he didn't fight me he didn't say anything else just left like he did with Alice. I tuned to Bella who was a shrivelling wreck on the sofa. "He doesn't love you." I said almost angry. "Just leave." She said again. "If that is what you want which I know it isn't otherwise you wouldn't have let me close to you." I said. She didn't say anything at all. "I made a mistake letting you go, I love you Bella." I said she sighed and lay on the sofa. I had her I knew she was considering it I could see it in her face she wanted me and Jasper couldn't do a thing about it. "Why did you let them attack me?" She said almost catching me off guard. I wasn't expecting a signed confession for all my sins. "I am sorry." Was all I managed?

"You are cold and heartless." Her voice wasn't as weak this time I could sense the strain in her voice as if she wanted to cry but she didn't. "I never wanted to divorce you." I said. She turned away sighing and I sat with her again on the edge.

"Is this all a game? Humiliate Bella try and make Bella's life a mess?" She asked.

"No I never meant to hurt you." I said. She considered it. Jasper walked in and ruined everything. "He doesn't love you Bella." He said. Bella escaped under the blanket on the sofa hiding from everyone.

Jasper motioned me to join him and the fight broke out. I had him pinned to the wall so his arms couldn't reach me. He was helpless. Bella didn't even come outside to defend him I knew I had won was only time till she left him and I could humiliate her again. I wasn't sure how everyone else would react I would handle that later but I needed to twist the knife as I had Jasper pinned he was helpless. "I love Alice I won't leave her like you did." I saw his reaction as he pushed me away and my fist hit his mouth. He was silenced. "I did love her until you took her away." He yelled at me. I rolled my eyes. He was boring me now he didn't know how Alice felt even though Alice had been round him he had ignored her he was so dumb and I had had enough. "Alice still loves you dumbass." I yelled back. "Why the fuck do you think you are back Alice made you come back she loves you." I threw him away from me angry, I had to admit it I would never be Jasper and fuck knows why she liked him at all. I knew she loved me too but he had to know and Alice would never tell him.

The tone had changed and Jasper softened I was still angry but I felt sorry for him slightly of course only slightly. "She thinks I hate her." He looked up after we had been silent for half an hour. "She can't help how she feels." I said. II could hear him toying the idea he was thinking about it but he was suspicious because it was coming from me and not her. "How can I believe you?" He asked. I shrugged. Wasn't my business to do anything I was the messenger? I walked back inside and went upstairs avoiding Bella who ran straight to Jasper.


	11. 13th March 2013

13th March 2013

I was going to find Edward I swear he was avoiding us for a reason and I wasn't dealing with Alice on my own I had had enough of her moping around now he brought her here and he had fucked off. I had looked everywhere except one place which I was making my way through the trees to. I saw him sitting his back to me and I crept up behind him. "Boo." I yelled making him jump a mile.

"Hi Tanya." He said. I sat on the grass in front of him. "Whatcha doing here?" I asked. I remembered last time we had fought with Bella and wondered why the fuck he came here. He looked deep in thought and distracted and I was nosy so hell yeah I wanted to know what was going on. "Alice wanted you." I said. His expression changed to fear. "Am I in trouble?" He asked. I thought for a minute how to answer this. I didn't know what had happened but Alice had started acting a bit strange towards the end of the night. She wouldn't tell me all she had said was go and find Edward so I had and now he looked guilty as anything. "Why would you be in trouble? Unless you have one something?" I searched him and he looked guiltier. "Edward what have you done?" I shouted thinking the worse could have happened. Anything was possible with him.

"Urm well yes I did do something." I waited for him to explain himself he took a breath looking terrified. "I may have told Bella I love her." He said. I took in a breath this time feeling the anger build up. He said he wouldn't do this anymore two was plenty and now he was doing this to me he had already cheated with Alice now he was cheating on us both with Bella. "Did you mean it?" I asked. I stood in front of him with my hands on my hips waiting. He gulped.

"I think I did." He replied. I felt the anger almost explode in my head. "At least I know where I stand in all of this you lied to me you said this would stop and now you cheat again you brought Alice to our relationship and now this? I booted him right where it hurts. "I hate you." I said walking off. Alice was so dead now.

13th March 2014

I saw Tanya leave and came out of the forest to Edward who was rolling around the floor. I had been thinking about what he had said to me. "Did you mean it?" I asked as soon as I reached him. "Yes." Was all he said. He sat up wincing and I sat beside him leaning my head on his shoulders missing him and he didn't move away from me. "Why now Edward? Why when I am with Jasper do you suddenly do this?" I asked. He just shrugged looking down at the grass

"I wouldn't have taken that boot if I didn't mean it trust me and I don't know why."

"I missed you." I said without thinking. He looked sideward's across at me. "I missed you too." I shook my head not really believing it still. "Edward you are married and you say this to me." He just looked off to the distance where Tanya had left. "I think I just destroyed my marriage but she needed to know how I felt." He said. I wanted to cry for him and us for everything that happened it was overwhelming. I wanted to believe him I wanted to try again and seeing him close in our special place was bringing memories back to me happy memories.

13th March 2013

I knew where Edward was and I saw what had happened. I cringed knowing Jasper knew how I felt now. Everything would be awkward and I needed to set everything right. Just because I loved him didn't mean I would suddenly get back with him there was a reason I left him in the first place I seemed to forget that. So I had watched him for a while I knew today he was going to go to our lake to hunt and I would just randomly appear there as if I had no idea which of course he knew I did know but would not look too obvious.

I drove out to the middle of nowhere where Jasper was just arriving and walked through the forest to the opening of the lake. "Hey." I called out. Jasper stopped in his tracks and turned around. "Hello Alice.|" He said. He smiled at me as I joined him.

"Can I join you?" I asked. He nodded slowing down as I caught up and we walked across the grass and jumped across the stream. "If you want to." The air was a little tense it was awkward like I expected I didn't know what to say to Jasper and I didn't know what he thought about Edward's outburst. It made everything awkward as hell. "Are you okay?" I tried to keep conversation going but it was dull and short. We had silence while we walked and I looked around. "Yes I am fine." He said. As we carried on through the trees and up the hill to the lake."Jasper you let your eyes go red." I noticed when he turned to make sure I was okay his eyes glared red and I sighed. "I started after I left." He said.

"You've always found it hard."Silence again.

"I'm sorry." He said. I looked up at him not expecting to hear an apology. I thought we were past all that. "What for."

"I am not the same as I used to be." I knew he had been thinking about what Edward had said. I did know he wasn't happy with Bella they had just fell together because of me and at first it made me smug but now I felt a little bad. "It doesn't matter anymore." I said. Silence again while we were thinking. I was still trying hard not to just drop everything and go back with Jasper again and I knew he wanted to bring it up but didn't know how to so we were in between stuck in an awkward silence. Instead he started running in the direction of the people that we had spotted earlier. I stayed where I was not really thirsty at all and feeling really heavy and fat. Jasper no doubt knew now we wouldn't talk about it I knew that he didn't want to make things more awkward and it was hard enough as it was. We could cut the tension with a knife.

Jasper came back eventually a little roughened up telling me he had wrestled them and they had tried to fight back. But he was obviously stronger and easily tackled them and finished them off. "Do you want to take a walk?" He finally asked. "Yes." We started walking up the hill more where the bubbling of the stream was becoming clear. I just remembered the first time we had come here. It was spring just beginning to warm up and the stream sparkled in the sun and there we declared that this was our place and we came often as we could when we were married even bringing Lilly with us when she was young. This place brought memories and I could tell by Jasper's expression he was thinking the same. "Isn't it pretty?" I asked as we reached the lake and I removed my sandals and paddled in the water. It was only March so it wasn't hot yet but the sun was out and the stream was slightly warmer than usual. He nodded watching me kicking my feet in the stream.

"Come on Jasper." I splashed him with my feet and he removed his shoes and followed me as we messed around splashing in the stream. It felt good to be together again all the past was behind us nothing else mattered. It was like old times all over again. We then sat down by the stream paddling our feet silently. "Are you okay after yesterday?" I asked finally bringing it up. It needed to be spoken about. "I don't know. I fought with Edward." He said. I nodded I had seen everything and knew it was my fault everything that had happened. I hoped I hadn't ruined anything with Bella I knew they didn't really care much about each other they were just together because I was with Edward. I had seen that they didn't act how I used to with Jasper and i admit it made me smug but now i felt kinda bad. "Are you okay?" He asked. We were making small talk I guess that is small progress. "Yes but it is weird not having you around." I said.

"Are you happy with Edward?" He asked. I didn't know what to say. Edward had pretty much told Jasper that I cry for him would it make him smug to know I wasn't completely happy or would he feel sorry for me. I didn't want to give him any satisfaction I was happy but not completely happy. "Why?" I asked. I did wonder why he asked if he was digging for information or did he just want me to say Jasper I love you. I wasn't going to. "I was just wondering." He looked away and we were silent again. I thought about how to answer him. "Yes I am happy but that doesn't mean I don't miss you." I said. We were silent again no one spoke and I think I had made it worse. "Do you want to go home?" He changed the subject. "Yes," I said and he helped me up. We walked home in silence not knowing what to say to each other when we finally reached the house and I was relieved Edward, Bella and Tanya wasn't home. We really needed to get it all out in the open and get rid of this silence. It wasn't healthy at least not for Ava.

"If you love Bella you should find her and not let him take her." I blurted out well someone needed to and he sure wasn't it had to be out. He just nodded and didn't say anything. "Do you care?" I asked.

"It's not easy being here again after all this time." He turned to the window. I didn't speak so he carried on. "I only came here because of Ava." It was like he was making it obvious I don't want you I only came back because of Ava. I took the hint and leaned my head on the kitchen table. He was being an asshole again he didn't learn the first time that acting like you don't care means you will find someone else and it was happening again and he wasn't doing anything. "Are you okay?" he asked. I don't know why but I burst into tears everything had gotten to me and I was finally letting it out and then as I cried I felt trickling down my leg. Oh shit.

"Alice what's wrong?" He stayed where he was. It was too early right? Sure it was I hadn't been keeping up with dates but I was certain. "It's too early Jasper it can't be happening." I felt pain huge pain wash over me as I gripped the table closing my eyes and he stood there looking dumb. Surely he knew what I meant we had been through it tons of times. Luckily Tanya burst into the room at the time looked at me and whispered. "I will go and get Edward." I crawled my way to the living room and wrapped up in blankets trying to keep comfortable and calm. Jasper knew what was happening now but stood in the corner of the room.

Edward came in saw Jasper and probably thought the worse. "Why is he here?" He glared at Jasper who growled back. I was sobbing still. "We went out." I said. I knew he wasn't happy about it but there wasn't anything he could do. He also didn't catch on straight away what was going on until I started screaming at him that the baby was coming and he jumped into action leaving Jasper to slip out of the room.

Right then Our son Ethan was born.


	12. 14th March - 16th March 2013

14th March 2013

I was out to find Edward I didn't want to talk about Jasper but i needed to clarify the shit with Bella. I found him hiding in his tree house probably from Tanya I had heard he got beaten by her. "I know what you are doing." I said as I got into the tree house. "I know." Was all he said.

"I take it Tanya knows?" I said.

"Tanya is aware of what I am doing."

"Luckily we don't really care then." I shrugged. I didn't really care I was the first one he cheated with so it didn't surprise that he would then go and do the same again to Bella but what was confusing was him slagging her off just a few days ago.

We heard screaming and tantrums from inside and Tanya yelling at their two year old son. "We had better go." Edward said and I followed him inside.

"Stop spitting everywhere." Tanya had Connor at arm's length as he pretty much dribbled down his face giggling. Edward took him as he continued to dribble. "How come you two get the quiet one, Ethan has been asleep most of the day." I had checked on him earlier he looked peaceful as he dreamt while Connor trashed the house pretty much. I knew it was only a few months till Ethan would be the same but for now he was still cute. Connor wriggled in Edward's arms until he let him go and then he ran off screaming down the hallway and woke up Ethan. I walked into the room Ethan was in bringing him to Edward. "You can deal with this one." I said. Not like I didn't love Ethan because I did but Edward had to do his bit as well. Tanya ran across the hall getting the camera and took photos of Edward holding Ethan.

Later that day Connor was still causing havoc not eating and throwing his food around Tanya looked knackered so I took him out to eat and he was good as gold. I think it was just Tanya he played up for he was fine with me and Edward.

15th and 16th March 2013

Something wasn't right. He seemed distant from me even though I was holding his hand. I didn't know if that was because of Edward. He knew I still loved Edward that just didn't go away quickly and something was seriously wrong with him and Alice they had apparently hung out and when he came back he seemed angry for some reason and just avoided me so right now we sat on the sofa and again he wouldn't talk to me. "Are you okay?" I finally asked. It took a while to answer. "I'm tired." Was his answer to almost everything. We sat in silence not saying anything else and then the door opened and Edward walked in naked. Jasper gripped my hand. "How's it going?" Edward causally nodded to me like being naked was all normal and Jasper wasn't even here.

"Good thanks." I said. He just nodded. He could tell we were having problems I knew it he could snoop anyone including Jasper. "I don't mean to make you awkward but we live in the same town." He said. I stayed where I was not moving. "Can you wear some clothes?" Jasper asked. He was looking out the window and avoiding Edward. I tried not to look really tried.

"I can't do that it is against the rules." He smirked. I knew he was enjoying this and knew I still kind of liked him not completely but something was still there after we had been married for quite a long time. Jasper then got up and left us alone. I knew something was wrong with him he was acting strange and now he had left me. I doubted he would be back he never cared about me he never meant anything he said. No matter how much he said it he still wanted Alice.

"Edward why did you come here knowing you would cause arguments?" he looked too pleased with himself that he could make Jasper leave quickly and so we were on our own and I felt uncomfortable and awkward around him on our own. I didn't want to be dragged into his mess. "I mean no harm it's not like anyone hasn't seen a naked guy before."

"But you are married they wouldn't like it." I thought of Tanya especially she had almost killed me and he was doing this and I bet she wasn't happy she would come after me again and I wasn't getting into that. "They don't have to know." He said. I sighed Alice would know and he knew that and I doubt she would keep that to herself. Everyone would know soon just like everyone knew about me and Jasper Alice had obviously told everyone to get them on her side. "Do you not care?" I asked.

"I have seen the way you look at me Bella." I dropped my head ashamed of myself for getting into this again. I didn't want him I kept telling myself it is a bad idea. "You need to go." I said quickly.

"I know you don't mean that." Was all he said. I bet my body language gave me away and the fact my eyes were closed and I was leaning back on the sofa. He could see I was thinking even though he didn't know what. I nodded trying to get my breathing right but it had quickened as he came and sat down by me. "Yes I mean it." I whispered.

"I miss you Bella." He whispered the same tone as me. I closed my eyes feeling tears but I managed to hold them in even though my voice probably gave me away. "I love you Bella." He whispered. I was silent I didn't want to say anything I didn't want to just fly back into his arms and make everything good. Jasper came back into the room. "Edward stop it." He yelled. They growled at each other and I had a little time to calm down a little and the tears went away.

He came back to me again sitting close and whispering into my ear making sure he breathed and made me shiver. "Kiss me and tell me you don't feel anything." He whispered. My eyes were tightly closed and my breathing faster again. The room started spinning and I don't remember what happened next..

I felt him close to my face and his lips pressed with mine and my eyes flew open. "Edward." I sighed.

"Hey welcome back." He said. I saw Jasper balling his hands into fists and trying to get Edward out of the way but Edward ignore him and focused on me. "I hate you for how you make me react." I said.

"I am sorry." He smirked knowing he wasn't really sorry. Jasper kicked the door and ran out of the house. I sighed.

"Why are you doing this to wind Jasper up?" I asked sitting up on the sofa. I didn't know if he would be back but I hoped Edward was being serious. I didn't want to leave him this time and I definitely didn't want Jasper. "I brought you back to life again Jasper didn't step in." He said. I wanted to cry knowing he didn't care about me and I could end up alone again like before. A sad lonely time. It was all too much and I actually cried letting everything out because I had held it back for a long time now. "Hey don't cry." He joined me putting his hand on my shoulder.

"If you love me prove it." I said. He took my hand pulling me up from the sofa and we walked upstairs. "I will apologise in advance." He said. I knew facing Jasper again would be awkward and weird. He would be angry at me for wanting Edward again. "He will hate me because you took his wife and now you took me." We sat on his bed and he had his arms around me I snuggled into him familiar again. "

It felt god again having him. "Edward what about them?" I asked. He knew who I meant.

"If I am needed I will go and find them." He said.

"It doesn't work like that. I want you all to myself." I said. If we were going to do this I didn't want to be a part of his whoring business I wanted everything the way it was Tanya gone and Alice back with Jasper and Edward to be all mine. "I have children I want contact with." He said. I felt the anger. He wasn't supposed to have children with other people this wasn't how it is. "I don't like it." I admitted. I really wanted him just him not all his shitty children that were supposed to be ours not his whores and all. "Tell them in front of me you don't want them." I yelled at him. He nodded and didn't say anything. I took his hand feeling his ring and then twisting it off his finger and giving it to him he put it in his pocket and I was satisfied. The door swung open.

16th March 2013

"You wanted us?" Alice asked. I knew Alice had seen everything. I gulped and nodded and composed myself. "That's right, I need you both to know, that I won't be returning it took me a while but i finally figured out why i am the way I am and it all started when I lost Bella,im just sorry i let this go on so long." I looked at them both waiting for some kind of reaction but there wasn't any. I don't think they thought I was serious but Bella wanted me I didn't as much want her but I had to look convincing. "I don't think you mean it." Alice smiled. They both came to my side pushing Bella away and showing me something they were doing. I gulped loosening my shirt. It was pretty explicit and hot but I had to keep my cool they were really testing me. "I mean it this is definitely what I want." I said focusing my mind on Bella who didn't look very happy. They finally left us together.

"Are you okay?" Bella was sat in front of me on the bed holding my hand and I nodded focusing completely on Bella now. I had kept up well I don't think Bella suspected a thing. "Why do they not seem bothered?" Bella asked. I took a second.

"They never cared they just stayed for the ride it was nothing emotional like with you and now you have me you saw them leave and I am yours." I said. She was definitely buying it.

"We don't have to stay divorced." She said. Oh great I thought i didn't want to marry Bella again. I had to feed her crap until she left me which I knew would be hard she was going to suffocate me from now on. "No we don't." I said.

"I still have my ring." She said showing me her finger with the same ring from many years ago. I had her ring in my pocket and I took it out. Her face lit up and I had her where I wanted her. I put it on to make her happy and she crawled into my lap.

"Edward do you regret your kids?" She asked. She was digging for me to tell her what she wanted me to I wasn't stupid I know what was coming.

"No but they could have been ours if I hadn't left you." I said trying to show remorse.

"They can be if you stay we have forever." She said.

She covered us with the blanket and it was dark and I gave her what she wanted something we hadn't done for many years. It actually felt good but I was addicted so it would have with anyone Bella wasn't anything particularly special.

"We need to tell Jasper." She said. It was a while later we had been lying cuddling together talking about our future and our daughter who i hadn't seen for a little while. I had to make it up to a lot f people but Jasper wasn't one. "I don't think he cares." I said.

"Why?" She asked.

"He is skinny dipping with Alice." I had seen in Alice's mind she was happy she wanted Jasper back and now it seemed she had him. I was lumbered with Tanya and Bella now great. Bella's mood sunk when I said this. She obviously didn't think he would care and be all mope it was very obvious he didn't care. She sulked for a while as we spoke some more and I had to feed her more lies. Alice would be back we had something I knew it but I didn't know what exactly but she would come back I was sure. Bella wasn't happy at all the mood soured as we sat talking. She was clingy and needy wanting me to stop talking to the girls and stop contact with my kids she wanted to run away with me she wanted me to leave everything and then a stupid idea of changing their identity and making them ours. I sighed pissed off. I didn't want to do any of these I offered her another child not like I wanted another but if it shut her up then I would I could just send her away with it and not be involved was fine with me. The girls were testing me very well they both came in with the kids one after the other Connor first and then Ethan and this started more arguments Bella wanted me to herself that wasn't happening I wasn't leaving my kids or the girls at all. She would have to get used to it. On the end I started kissing her and all was forgotten as we fucked the whole night.

16th March 2013

I was so angry at Edward for taking Bella away now he had my wife and Bella. I had the mind to rip him apart but I knew that wouldn't go well Alice somehow liked him for whatever reason and I wasn't going to hurt her. I thought about Alice how she was with all of this surely she knew and I can't imagine her sharing Edward with her as well. Maybe I could get her back eventually and she would leave Edward.

"Jasper are you okay?" I heard Alice jumping up to join me. She had known what Edward did and came to find me. She always was caring. "I'm not sure." I looked down feeling angry again I wasn't going to slag anyone off while she was here. She wrapped her arms round me leaning on my shoulder. "You can talk to me." I didn't move at all having Alice here was nice. "You know already." I said. I knew she did there would be no way she didn't.

"He just kicked me and Tanya out if that makes you better." She said. She didn't seem too bothered. I wondered if now was the time to get back together maybe it was I guess I should bring it up somehow I mean if she wasn't and didn't want to she wouldn't have come to find me. "Oh." I said. I didn't know how to react since she didn't seem bothered. "I am here for you."She said. That sounded like Alice not whatever Edward turned her into she wasn't that person. "Thank you." I smiled. She took my hand and I looked at our hands. To anyone walking by we would just look like a normal couple., I knew now was probably the time to say something considering U wanted her back and I could feel her feelings for me and it shone out. "Let's go home." She smiled as we held hands all the way home. "I missed you." She started. I knew she was bringing it up now I could admit everything to her we would most likely be okay. "I missed you too." I said finally.

Once we got in and the house seemed empty we sat down. Alice on the floor and I sat on the sofa. There wasn't any awkwardness this time. "Did you really miss me?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Being with Edward isn't the same as you." She said. I was confused as she seemed happy with Edward. Was that all an act? Did she mean it? I could only take her word really but it was nice finally talking.

"It wasn't the same with Bella either." I admitted. She then leaned back and her head was on my legs and I leaned down and we kissed. The first time in a long while and it felt amazing once again. I could feel the happiness in the room. Once we pulled away her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful just for a second before she opened her eyes. "I am confused." I said wanting answers now.

"Is it because I came back?" She knew everything already of course.

"Yes."

"I missed you like I said." She smiled. Her eyes were truthful and that was all. We were sat in silence for a while not awkward though we were both happy. "What do you want to do?" I asked. She smiled for a minute. "Skinny dipping." She answered. We stood up and walked outside again to our special lake. When we got there she stood in front of the lake and stripped off and then dived on and I watched her she was happy and carefree. "Are you coming in?" She asked. I stripped down and jumped in and then she swam a little to me. We hugged in the water and I leaned in and kissed her again longer than before and well that led to another thing in the middle of our lake for the first time in ages.


	13. 17th March 2013 - 19th March 2013

17th – 19th March 2013

I was angry, I had woken up in a bad mood for some reason but then again I hardly slept at all. I thought he would leave it was all too good to be true and I didn't want to wake up. I had been feeling a little rough this morning even though I hadn't had a drink at all but I put this down to a late night. I never really sleep well and I was not a morning person. So this morning when Edward woke up I had snapped at him. I was annoyed I wanted time with him but he was always preoccupied with his kids and wives. He hated me calling them brats. He had to mention Alice and Tanya all the time and it was annoying. He wouldn't divorce them but he wanted me to join him. "Marry me Bella."! He had said that morning about an hour after waking up. Not how I pictured my proposal really in a dingy bedroom with my night dress on messy hair and all. In the end I backed down and agreed for him to have me as well as them at least i would have some of him.

We got in the shower after he proposed with no ring and well things happened in the shower.

Tanya was standing by the door to her bedroom. "What is going on?" She asked eyeing me up. I clung to Edward. "I am afraid something's had changed." Edward said. We explained to Tanya about me being in with them and that we would be getting married as well and she looked mega pissed but we also told her Alice has Jasper as well but she is staying with us. She changed the story to talk about their son instead and Connor had gone to the toilet on Edward's clothes and he went to deal with that while Tanya was trying to wind me up.

Later on mid afternoon when Connor had taken a nap Tanya and Edward had convinced me to get naked and stay in their no clothes rule which I did after persuasion but I was shy. Tanya had the wine out and was already drinking a bottle. "No thank you." I turned it down when Tanya offered. Edward whispered in my ear. "One glass." And I took one glass sipping. Tanya eyed me suspicious."She's not pregnant is she?" I laughed and shook my head.

Alice came into the room later that night and took the bottle off Tanya who needed to sober up. She stormed off angry and Bella sat by me. "Bella you have to let me do the wedding." I protested nut she was persistent. I still said no but I knew she would end up planning it so i gave up protesting and then Jasper walked in. "Edward can we talk?" He asked. Edward got up and left the room with Jasper and when they came in they were chatting like old times.

Tanya had come back in and we were all in the room getting drunk. I had another drink and now I was a little dizzy. Alice had a glass in her hand so did Edward and Tanya was mixing up different drinks and trying them.

Alice had climbed on Edward's lap and they were talking. I sat by them and heard my name. "No more now Edward or she will never fit into her dress." I hid my face embarrassed. I didn't want to talk about this with Alice or Jasper.

Edward had eventually carried Alice off upstairs and we all moved to the bedroom where we ended up just fucking everyone. Fun night.

Next morning I helped Alice feed Ethan. Edward was studying me his eyebrow up curious into what was in my head but I was just helping out nothing was going on.

18th March 2013

"I know something you don't know." I stood by Edward while Bella was fusing over Ethan.

"Do tell." Edward turned to me and I had a grin on my face. He must have figured something out she was acting really weird this morning he had begged and begged and I just laughed at him.

"Go and find her." I said. Bella had taken Ethan upstairs and Edward had followed. I had already seen it. Bella had gotten comfortable with Ethan he was no our bed drinking his bottle with Bella there and Edward watching and then it suddenly clicks.

I walked upstairs. "Alice please tell me I am wrong." He says.

"You are wrong." I smiled. He stumbled over himself as he watched Bella in the room with Ethan.

"Now isn't time to play games I should have known all along how stupid am I?" I laughed not answering him but Jasper was watching looking confused. "It's okay." I whispered to him.

Silently I showed Edward what I had been hiding from him and Bella as Bella didn't even know herself but it was very obvious. He was stumbling here there and everywhere until he finally straightened up. "I had better tell Bella." He said.

I walked into the room Bella was with Ethan it was strange she became protective over the last two days when she had hated them before and now I felt stupid it was obvious. Everything had changed she had become slightly nicer only slightly but it wasn't her at all she looked somehow healthier lately as well and well now I know. "Bella we have to talk." I said. Her face fell as I said the words and she looked worried. "Oh no." Was all she said.

"It isn't bad." I reassured her. She still stared at me well with my reputation it wasn't surprising what she thought. The mood was awkward and uncomfortable now and I wasn't sure what to say usually this was reversed and the wife or girlfriend does this not the man. "Well urn I don't know how to tell you this but you are urn pregnant."

She just started laughing it seemed a nervous laugh as she wasn't sure if I was joking or not.

"I am not kidding I have seen it all for myself." I said. Finally she looked at me like she believed me. I wouldn't lie about this shit as I didn't really need any more kids really this was a little inconvenient as now she would be as clingy as hell but I guess I deserved it and what did I expect.

"Alice." Was all she said and I nodded.

"Sorry." I looked down seeing she looked slightly disappointed maybe she didn't want this either and we didn't have to, but how she was last time this was hard to believe. I had ruined another person's life as I was just an asshole and Tanya was going to absolutely kill me.

"You don't need to be sorry." She said. I looked up at her maybe she wasn't so disappointed after all I wish I could know exactly what was going on as it was driving me crazy maybe then I could sort everything out.

For the rest of the night we talked and we said our sorries on things we had said and made amends. I had to warn her about Tanya as I wasn't sure how she would be and Bella just apologised over again.

It was late and I was with Jasper as Edward was busy with Bella I could tell they had made up properly and it was nice but tonight Jasper had organised the room to look fancy he had lit my favourite candles and had our music on which we spent all night drinking wine and dancing until he asked me to marry him with a huge diamond ring and of course I agreed everything was sorting itself out and I was happy again. Whoever I had been feeling a little funny. I was a little dizzy every now and again and would have to take a break which wasn't like me but the night was fun and when we reached our bedroom well the fun carried on...

19th March 2014

I was feeling pretty shitty, I don't know why but I was dizzy a lot and when I saw Edward the next morning there was this stench that wouldn't go away it was so strong like it was right there but it wasn't and nothing was there. So the next morning I came downstairs and Edward was sat on his own. I went to sit next to him and he put his arm round me. "Is everything okay now?" I asked remembering him staying awake till late to talk to Bella while I was with Jasper. He nodded. I had been listening to what they were saying and it seemed they were both happy especially Bella Edward was probably just happy she was. "She is happy." I said reassuring him.

"I believe you because you saw this coming."

"You were nosy again." I said. He always picked into my head and it wasn't my job to tell him Bella would have known soon enough and Bella could have said something but nope. "But you still love me right?" He asked. I paused for a minute and he laughed walking into the kitchen to make a bottle for Ethan who had woke up a few minutes ago. "I am joking." I said finally after he had finished and picked Ethan up out of his carrier to feed. We talked some more about him making up with Bella after everything he had said about her. He was very two faced slagging her off then next minute bam another kid in the mix I can hardly keep up with it but next time they fall out I don't want to know.

After he had finished feeding Ethan he was being rude and I really didn't want to I wasn't thinking about that at all and the thought made me feel sick. I just didn't want the contact for some reason I don't know why. "Tanya is going to murder you." I said. I couldn't even imagine what she would say about all of this in fact AI didn't want to. I was not getting involved this wasn't my battle.

"She probably will but I don't care I will probably enjoy it." I cringed. Ew he was seriously weird after he told me he likes being hit and hurt and that he could go all day with different people and not caring. Not exactly the dream prince but who cares I didn't want anyone serious still this was all fun and Jasper was the one I was serious with.

"Yuck he smells Edward." I could still smell it stronger now maybe it was Ethan but it was rotten disgusting and I seemed to be the only one, who could smell it.

"No he doesn't I think you are joking." I shook my head very seriously.

"She does smell for yourself." He did and pulled a face. I covered my nose and mouth but could still smell it Ethan was screaming and wriggling but Edward took him away and I could still smell it so it wasn't Ethan and it wasn't me because I checked to begin with. "Let's hope nothing is wrong." I said,.

"Nothing is wrong just stinky baby bum day."

"Like you then." I smiled.

"He has to get something from me even if it is just a stinky ass."

"Well he is very handsome so he got his good looks from me obviously because you are pig ugly." I smiled.

"Whatever you say." He said. He was grumpy tonight even though he tried to hide it.

"Grumpy bum." I mocked him.

He didn't answer me and I could smell it again that horrible smell. "What is that smell?" I asked.

"Other than Ethan nothing smells." I shook my head edging closer to him as he sat down on the sofa. "Ew Edward it is you." He smelt horrible for some reason I couldn't put my finger on what it was but it wasn't nice.

"I had a shower this morning you need to see someone because your smell is completely off today." He looked at me concerned but slightly angry. I was not messing around.

We had an argument about it and I started crying because he started yelling and it wasn't my fault but today I could smell something bad. He didn't understand anything. He used the line he doesn't use unless he is desperate. I love you Alice. He says it a lot but only when he wants something or he is desperate to make up. So I just called him grumpy and then he started treating me like a baby he bought me a sippycup in and put a nappy around me so I kicked him where it hurt and bit him and laughed watching him wince and jump around.

We had another argument that night about Bella Edward thought it would be the same as before but it wasn't and I tried to make it light-hearted but he grumped and yelled about it making me cry again. We weren't getting on

19th March 2013

Yes I heard them talking how dare he do this to me. I would get revenge but my drink sounded so much nicer so I stumbled in the house later holding my drink. I would get rid of all of them stupid bitches stealing my husband when he was mine first and they just wander in and get pregnant. When I walked in I immediately launched at Alice yanking her to the floor where we started fighting. She held me at arm's length and I couldn't get her. "You need to sober up." She said. All Edward could do was watch not defend me or anything no. "Where is she?" I asked looking round for Bella she wouldn't be pregnant when I finish with her but she wasn't around of course they probably had her protected. "You can't do anything Tanya." Alice warned me.

She then came wandering in the room like she owned the place and Edward sprang in front of her which made me angrier. He was with me why wasn't he defending me and telling them to go away? "you aren't even pretty how dare you ruin my life?" I yelled at her kicking at Alice who was losing grip on me. "I can't hold her back anymore." She said. It wouldn't take much for me to get her just a few seconds of her alone would work.

Edward then came and held me back while Alice was with Bella. Bella didn't seem at all bothered by me I had threatened her .what the fuck was wrong with her? They had me held down on the ground while Bella left and came back with a bottle. Edward forced my mouth open and I couldn't help but drink whatever it was.

19th March 2013

They were seriously debating about our wedding Bella wanted control but Alice pleaded we all knew who would win really there was no point arguing with her. Then Alice started crying and sat on the floor which wasn't like her. Me and Bella both hugged her. And then I thought about it the smell and everything. "I am fine." She answered. I shook my head and told her she is pregnant it wasn't anything to deny and I actually might not be the cause of it. "It was only yesterday." She said but even she didn't look sure. They both cried together and I was stuck looking after both of them and knew this would be a long night, how was I going to deal with this all night? Well to start off with they were both naked and well I had both o them here so we did make the most of our time yes

Afterwards we sat on the sofa talking. "Edward you have 4 kids nearly five you are really bad." Alice said.

"No Alice I will have 3." I reminded her. She glared at me. "No 5." Oh shit i almost had a heart attack that meant twins. She nodded to confirm what I said. "Funny Alice." Bella said beside me. We were both silent in shock then I felt a little angry. "How long have you know?" I asked her. "Hey don't yell at me." She cried again and we sat in silence.

19th March 2013

I went to find them all as I was going to take Bella out I found them all in the living room. "Hey." I said coming in. The girls smiled at me. "Do you both want to do something?" I asked and they nodded. Edward walked out of the room and I was left with them. I sat in the middle of the sofa next to them and they leaned their heads on my shoulders. "Jasper?" Bella was nervous I could tell it was obvious and it seemed Alice was hiding something as well. "Do you still want me?" She asked. I looked over at her and she looked shyly at me. "Of course." I kissed her cheek and she smiled. "I didn't think you would because of..." she trailed off but I knew she meant because of Edward's baby and it didn't bother me I still liked her. We kissed and then Alice got in the way and I laughed she never did like me with anyone else so I felt how she did but she never understands that it was a little selfish but Bella wasn't like that she shared me she enjoyed our time and didn't mention Edward. We kissed again and then she stood up. "Let's go out." She said. Alice followed also and we got in the car. Alice sat beside me and Bella lay down in the back. Then they both started crying together for some reason they didn't seem sad and nothing happened at all. I just looked at them sobbing confused and started the car up and they stopped after a few minutes. "Edward was winding me up." Alice said finally and I put my arm round her hugging her. I got there a little late and Bella had seen it too but who knows what went on? I was just happy we started moving down the road. Alice then told me that she could smell something in the house and even now but she couldn't tell what it was and then Edward had said she was pregnant and the car stopped suddenly. "Are you?" I asked looking at her. She shrugged in tears again. "I don't know." She hugged Bella crying and I shook my head at them. "I am never usually so emotional and sensitive Jasper maybe he is right and if he is it isn't his." I looked at her remembering the night at the lake. There was definitely a chance I guess we could find out some time when we got home.

We finally arrived at our special place. "We have wedding plans." I said helping them both out and making them happier. Alice was already happy looking around and Bella just looked around. Then they both blurted out they loved me and started crying again and I pulled them both in a hug calming them down and we went inside to look around. It was different than before it had gotten older but we could definitely do something and get it running. I could tell Alice was thinking about what to put in here she had a grin on her face and looked at everything. "I want to get married soon." She said. I thought for a minute. "How about the weekend?" I said. Her face lit up and she looked at me excited. "Just us?" she asked and I nodded.

We lay together while Bella had gone to look around and she looked at me. "You okay?" I said. She nodded and i could tell it wasn't. "Alice what is wrong?" I asked. She looked at me. "I don't feel well." She said. "Do you need anything?" I asked.

"Can we leave?" She asked and we stood up Bella followed us to the car. "You look really pale." Bella said. I felt her nails digging in me and took her quickly to the car. "Maybe you should talk to Carlisle I don't like seeing you like this." I said to her and helped her into the car. I was worried about her of course I do she is my wife still even if we are divorced and getting remarried. She fell in the car and I held her up. "Alice?" I looked at her she wasn't awake and she didn't answer.

We drove home quickly and I carried Alice out of the car. I called for Carlisle but he wasn't in but Edward walked in. "What the fuck happened?" he yelled and I ignored him.

She opened her eyes a moment later and slowly sat up. "You don't need to watch me." She laughed as we both stood over her. "We were worried." I said.

"What happened?" Edward asked her. "I fainted I ain't dead and you better get used to this." She said.

"What do you mean?|" he asked. I assumed she told him in her head cos he just said. "Oh"

"You will be okay I will look after you and Bella." He said. I told him I can look after Alice as she is my wife too and he nodded. I guess we would work together now to help them.

She tried to protest and Bella didn't seem to want her to either but he was stubborn and stood his ground looking at them both worrying. Alice went off to bed after that I followed her as Edward and Bella argued.


	14. 20th March 2013

20th March 2013

I came downstairs the next morning after my dream. I knew it wasn't a dream and I had to warn Jasper before anything bad happened. Basically I was going to be in a lot of pain and my body is going to crack under the pressure of being pregnant so soon after Ethan had been born. Jasper hadn't come home he needed to hunt after his eyes had gone dark and he had been stuck with either me or Bella but now we were asleep so I sat and waited and eventually he came home.

"hey." He said. I smiled and patted the sofa. "Sit we need to talk." I said. I wasn't going to be lie or cover the truth we were in serious shit because my body can't handle this basically sums it up. "Since Ethan is still young it seems my body didn't recover and well I have seen what is going to happen and it is bad." I think he was speechless because he took a while to say anything and when he did it was. "Oh."

"Will you stay with me if i get ill?" i asked looking up at him. He squeezed my hand. "of course I am staying." He said. We kissed as I lay on him and he was serious about staying I could tell and that made me feel better. We talked a bit about the wedding and I think we would wait because I would be ill and I didn't want to faint and then I asked him if we could carry on like before as if we didn't divorce. He smiled and we hugged until I felt dizzy again and I gripped onto him and he knew something wasn't right. "Do you need blood?" He asked.

I hadn't thought about that but I guess it could actually work and it might stop me feeling so bad. I couldn't eat much human food but I guess this would work after all Edward and Jasper are the same as me and we are not humans. He stood up and came back with it. I cautiously took it and sniffed. It smelt disgusting I couldn't tell what but it really did. "It smells bad." I admitted and held it away from me. He signed. "How can we make you drink it?"

"I think I'm going to be sick. I said looking at the mug. Then i was sick. "Sorry." I said when i came back. I think he was thinking of a way to help me but no way would I drink that yuck. "It is okay." He said playing with my hair so I would relax I think he could feel the tension and stress I feel and he obviously didn't' want that. "Everything smells bad." I said telling him about trying to eat everything but nothing staying down long enough and he was thinking how I could eat and drink but there was nothing. He just smiled and held my hand. "Jasper you will stay with me won't you? Even if it is bad?" I wasn't confident and I needed security. He promised me and I fell asleep on the sofa.

20th March 2013

I was sat on the sofa with the laptop while Bella napped and Alice was away looking at baby things. I knew we would have a nursery to build sometime soon and I was looking for ideas until footsteps came down the stairs. "Hey."! Bella came and sat by me.

"Hi love." I smiled at her. She leaned her head on my arm and I put it round her. "What are you doing?" She asked. I showed her the nursery ideas and she smiled. "I am sorry I slept in." She said and I reassured her. She was taking naps and that was fine she needed to relax and rest now. Bella then quizzed me about the night before on Alice's vision and I told her that Alice saw she would get very hurt while she was pregnant and then Alice came in and told us not to worry. I rolled my eyes she was my wife even though it wasn't my baby and I would care. "Not like me though right?" Bella asked. I shook my head. "Not as bad but her body is still recovering from Ethan so she will be a little ill." I said. "Don't worry about me." She said smiling. She looked tired and her eyes were really dark the shadows under her eyes were black and she looked like she hadn't slept. "I have a right to worry but I will say this I will track him down if he runs." I could imagine him doing that after he did the first time why wouldn't he now if things got tough and I was worried for her about this. "let's not start this." She said. I could tell she didn't want an argument at all and that was fine I would keep my thoughts to myself regarding Jasper.

"I didn't know you got married." Bella said while the room was silent so I had to tell her that I had married her and Tanya together because I must have forgotten that tiny detail which didn't seem to bother Bella she was angrier I married Tanya than Alice. "And soon you." Alice smiled. Bella smiled then her face settled in a frown and sigh. "I don't like Tanya." She said. She looked round to make sure she wasn't around. "Tanya is just feisty." I reassured her but I wasn't sure she felt reassured at all.

We then discussed wedding plans Alice wanted big and over the top but Bella didn't not really much of a surprise really Alice didn't do just simple weddings she did massive over the top look at me ones and Bella would probably hate that. They continued to discuss while I didn't realise I was smirking and then they both turned on me hit me and then started crying and I rolled my eyes. I had enough hormonal women to last me a lifetime I was sure I could handle them both but it wouldn't be easy. I did the best thing which was to hug them and say I was sorry even if I just smirked.

"If I have to be pregnant so do you." Bella said. Alice laughed obviously they were planning something which made me nervous. "Luckily for me I can't." I said. Bella grinned. "Yes you can because I bought you something and once I can't walk you will wear it." She said. Oh no. I backed off but they put the you don't love me on me and I felt guilty and Bella had tears in her eyes so i had to agree but I would be sulky the whole time and not enjoy this. Alice curled up in a ball groaning. I knew this was hard for her and I didn't know what to do. "Alice do you need anything?" I asked.

"Nothing with a smell." She said. I laughed that pretty much was everything. So I got her water and she took the cup not sure. I could see in her mind that she had tried everything so far and just puked it back up. So she sipped a little and spat it out on the floor. "Nope." She said. Bella was all concerned so I explained again her body wasn't adjusting well and Alice of course was saying I am nothing to do with her even though we were married but I was only trying to help.

We decided to have the wedding at the weekend which wasn't too far away and Alice would help even though she didn't seem up to it but she wouldn't do as she was told and then I lifted the atmosphere by talking about losing my figure when I have to wear the suit which made them laugh that was what I wanted and all the sadness and fear was gone.

Connor ran into the room hyper from who knows what and say hello to the girls. I knew Alice loved him she was so good with him and I don't think Bella was as happy to see him. He yelled when he saw Alice and she teased him making him giggle and Ethan crawled into the room. I picked Ethan up who grabbed for my nose giggling. "Oh another one after my nose." I said. While Alice was telling Connor she had a surprise for him but she stumbled backwards and I had to put Ethan down to catch her once I let her go she fell again and I had to get Connor out of the room. Once she was normal she was upset she cried and got angry asking why her and I had to try to calm her down before anything went wrong and she hurt me and I lay on the floor wincing while she was crying and I still tried to help her I could see she was scared and not sure if Jasper would stay and that made me really angry.

20th March 2013

Connor was playing when I came downstairs in the morning and I made his breakfast. "Where is your dad?" I asked. I hadn't seen him this morning. "Right behind you silly Bella." Connor giggled.

"How long have you been there?" I asked. "Long enough he said. I offered him breakfast but he didn't want anything. The kids threw their breakfasts everywhere and Connor refused to eat and then Connor started fighting with Ethan who was only just starting to crawl and Edward had to tell him off. Connor got away from the table while I was holding Ethan who puked all over me and I gave him to Edward and got changed, Edward didn't understand why I was annoyed I am sure he is used to it but I didn't like mess.

20th March 2013

I was so angry actually fuming at Jasper for thinking such bad things. How can he want to get rid of the baby I wanted reassurance when I asked are you okay? Do you want this?: I didn't want him to be honest but now I knew what he thought of the whole thing. He followed me and apologised and I was still angry with him for suggesting it when anything gets hard all he does is run or try and find the easiest option out.

20th March 2013

I was always left out it wasn't fair but he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I was annoyed at him so I told him I didn't want to go to the meadow it was a bad memory now he had let Alice and Tanya attack me why would I want to go back? He was trying to be nice and patient but I was just annoyed. Alice came a while later looking terrible her makeup was down her face and she hadn't made an effort in her clothes like she normally did. "Alice talk to me." Edward said. I gave her room to sit down. "You already know?" She said. I didn't know but I had an idea Edward had said that Jasper didn't want the baby because Alice was ill I guess they had argued. "I do and I am disgusted in him." Edward almost shouted. They spoke for a while more while he comforted Alice and she needed it. Jasper wasn't being very nice and she must have felt so bad. I was thinking about the wedding and maybe we should have it here so I mentioned it and he seemed surprise and Alice seemed happier. It was a distraction we knew she would like to talk about that instead of Jasper. So we decided to have it right here in the meadow tomorrow without any special clothes while everyone cheered up and that was great.


End file.
